<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Thermodynamics by bearonthecouch</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29734542">Thermodynamics</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearonthecouch/pseuds/bearonthecouch'>bearonthecouch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Colonist (Mass Effect), Eventual Romance, F/M, Mass Effect 1, Psychological Trauma, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29734542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearonthecouch/pseuds/bearonthecouch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's her job to protect all of her crew, but that day on Eden Prime it hadn't been anything as generic as that guiding her actions. She saw Kaidan Alenko in danger – Kaidan specifically – and she knew she needed to keep him safe, no matter what.</p><p>And from the look he's giving her now, he understands exactly what she is not saying.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Eden Prime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span>“She's a survivor.”</span>
    </em>
    <em>
      <span>
        <br/>
      </span>
    </em>
    <em>
      <span>“Is that the kind of person we want saving the galaxy?”</span>
    </em>
    <em>
      <span>
        <br/>
      </span>
    </em>
    <em>
      <span>“It's the only kind of person who can.”</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>CHAPTER ONE: EDEN PRIME</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. You pissed off the captain and now I'm gonna pay for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard pushes off the back of Joker's chair with a sigh. She puts on her poker face and heads back toward the comm room, where the Turian Spectre, Nihlus, stands waiting. He turns to meet her as she enters the small chamber. She looks around, but it only takes a second to confirm that Captain Anderson isn’t in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard,” Nihlus says smoothly. “I'm glad you're here. It will give us a chance to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raises an eyebrow. It wasn't that long ago that the Turians were at war with humanity, and she isn't sure she trusts this representative of the Council. It's all too obvious that he's here to spy on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk about what?” she asks carefully. She crosses her arms over her chest and tries to stare the Turian down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's then that Captain Anderson strides into the room. If he's surprised to see Nihlus and Shepard alone together, he doesn't show any sign of it. Shepard prepares herself to be the target of any ire Joker might have caused, but Anderson gets straight to the point. “Shepard,” he says, acknowledging her with a nod. “This isn't a simple shakedown run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard gives Nihlus a sidelong glance and then shrugs. “Yeah, I already figured that out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson smiles thinly, and Shepard can't tell if he's irritated or trying to indulge her. Though she knows he's been keeping track of her since rescuing her from the wreckage of Mindoir, it's the first time in her Alliance career that they've actually worked together. And it’s her first mission since being cleared for active duty after Akuze. Anderson keeps looking at her like he’s afraid she’s going to break. He thinks she doesn’t notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nihlus is here recruiting for the Spectres,” Anderson announces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard frowns. “Recruiting? But there aren't any human Spectres. The Council-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson holds up a hand, forestalling her continued comment. “The Council has been listening to the human politicians who've been wanting this a long time. I won't say they're happy about the idea, but they're willing to concede that a human Spectre might be worth having.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's why I put your name forward,” Nihlus says smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You put my name forward?” She doesn't even know him. How would he know her name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I've seen your service record, Commander. It's impressive, to be sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard bites her tongue, but she wonders exactly how much the Turian knows. Sure, there are plenty of commendations and heroics in her files, but there are also psych reports, and more than one altercation with authority. She simply gives Nihlus a short nod and looks back to Captain Anderson. “You're on board with this, Captain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, that's all I need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson's earlier smile grows and becomes more relaxed, and Shepard settles into an at-ease posture. “Nihlus will accompany you to Eden Prime,” the captain says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll be looking to see how you accomplish the mission,” Nihlus tells her. “Spectres need to be able to operate independently, think outside the box...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. That part of things, she's great at. She does her best work alone. But on the trip to Eden Prime she'll be saddled with a ground team, Lieutenants Kaidan Alenko and Richard L. Jenkins. She doesn't know much about either one of them. Besides Anderson, the only person she knows on the Normandy is the pilot, Joker, and only because they were once in the same hospital. Joker has some kind of brittle bone disease that makes him a liability groundside, but his flying more than makes up for it. The man is very good at his job, the best of the best, like everyone else on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Anderson's hand-selected crew. A shakedown run will be a test of how they all work together, even if it is also apparently a test of her, specifically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hope you like what you see,” she says, with a coy smile and a wink at Nihlus. Anderson bites his lip to cover his grin, and Shepard begins to head out of the little comm room to find her armor and suit up with her men.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” Joker interrupts, his voice echoing above their heads. “You're going to want to get a look at this.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard turns to watch the video flickering on the large screen that takes up one wall of the comm room. Her heart pounds as she leans in, curious and concerned. She sees a shaking camera and a panicked man shouting as gunfire erupts in the background. “They came out of nowhere!” he calls. “You have to help us!” The camera shifts, panning toward the sky, where for a second a huge ship of unfamiliar design hovers ominously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pause the feed,” Anderson snaps, and the video freezes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that?” Shepard whispers under her breath.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well,” Nihlus says drily. “This complicates things.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I'm ready,” Shepard says. So they're about to drop into a hot zone? It's nothing she hasn't done dozens of times. The N7 insignia on her armor marks her as a survivor, a leader, ready for anything. She heads down to the locker in the cargo hold, after telling Jenkins and Alenko to follow her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She studies the two lieutenants as they make their way to the planet. Alenko looks nervous, while Jenkins is practically radiating excitement. He's barely out of Basic, Shepard knows, and he must have had some very impressive test scores or an as-yet-unknown set of skills to wind up on Anderson's radar. She scans the mission data while she listens to their conversation, brushing up on her knowledge of Eden Prime and the Prothean beacon they're supposed to be hunting down. She closes the file just before they touch down. It's little comfort given the message Joker had shown them, which makes it clear they'll be entering a situation no mission briefing could predict.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eyes up,” she says to Alenko and Jenkins. “We don't know what we're going to find.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks to Nihlus. “I work better alone,” he tells her, and then he's off to scout the terrain ahead of them.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>So do I</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thinks, but she allows Alenko and Jenkins to step behind her in an arrow formation, guns held ready. The terrain around them is charred, with portions of it ripped away entirely. Everything is smoke and blood, a war zone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's a lot of bodies,” Jenkins observes, his voice shaking slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to get to the beacon,” Shepard insists. She pushes her way forward, breathing slowly and carefully and remaining focused on the path ahead. She watches the HUD in her helmet, and scans for any sign of survivors, but there aren't any.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's something moving up ahead,” Alenko reports.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard holds up a hand signal acknowledging his remark. She'd seen it too. Before she can form the words of an order, the pops of gunfire echo through the air. One of the moving shapes she'd seen on the horizon drops, but others, too many to quickly count, surge forward and surround their three-man squad. Shepard sights and pulls the trigger of her assault rifle so quickly that it seems she barely has time to aim. Even with Alenko and Jenkins doing the same thing, it's obvious that they're going to be overrun. There's no cover out here in the open farmlands of Eden Prime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can hear Jenkins screaming, the high-pitched, desperate wail of the dying. And then there's silence. She stands there, heart pounding and body flooded with adrenaline, breathing in shallow gasps until she forces herself to calm enough to get in a full breath of air. She needs to think rationally. She crouches down next to Jenkins, and reaching down to check for a pulse just confirms what her HUD is already telling her: the lieutenant is dead. She yanks the dogtags from around his neck and stashes them in her pocket, telling herself that if all goes well she'll be able to retrieve the body later. She glances back at Alenko, but he just meets her eyes with a steady gaze, at least so far as she can tell when they're both wearing helmets. She tries to contact Nihlus, but there's no response. He might have gone radio-silent to reduce his chances of detection, or their still unconfirmed enemy might be jamming their comms. She takes a few steps forward to look at the dropped bodies of the swarming, not quite human creatures they had killed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alenko moves up to stand next to her, staring down at the corpse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly are we dealing with here?” Shepard asks him. Alenko's supposed to be some kind of tech expert, and the thing she's looking at is most definitely more synthetic than human.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks... Geth. But the Geth haven't been seen outside the Veil for two hundred years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” Shepard grunts. “Wonder what they're doing here, then.” She reloads her gun and begins moving forward again. “Stay alert,” she warns Alenko. “There might be more of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He confirms the order with a hand signal and waves her forward. He'll cover her. She takes point, sweeping her gun barrel and her helmet's scanners over the terrain as she works her way toward the last known location of the Prothean beacon. They're only a few klicks away, but a few klicks in hostile terrain could take hours. And still, that unidentified alien ship hangs over the horizon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Alenko says, after they've been walking for the better part of an hour. Shepard stops: she doesn't ask why, or ignore the order. He's watching her back and he must have a good reason for calling the halt. “I'm getting a reading,” he tells her, holding up his omni-tool so she can see the waveforms. “It's an Alliance signal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard tries to find the source, but all she gets is squealing feedback and static.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone's jamming the comms,” Alenko explains, confirming Shepard's earlier suspicions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's a flash of white, someone running. The unidentified figure disappears behind a large boulder, at least until Shepard steps forward. She has better trigger discipline than to shoot at someone before she establishes them as friend or foe, so when the Alliance soldier steps out from behind the rock, she is safe from fire. The soldier takes one glance at the N7 insignia on Shepard's chestplate and salutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Williams, ma'am,” she introduces herself. “Ashley Williams.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me a status report, Williams.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The soldier nods. “We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack came. The Geth came out of nowhere. They just started... </span>
  <em>
    <span>taking </span>
  </em>
  <span>people.” She waves toward the far distance, where what look to be human bodies are impaled on spikes that stand like grisly imitations of growing things. “I think I'm the only one left.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard takes only a moment to think before she says: “You're coming with us. We need to get to the beacon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's just over that ridge,” Williams says, pointing. “I can get you there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard takes up a position with Alenko, the two of them forming the back of the arrow formation that Williams now leads. They stay alert for any sign of Geth, but the path is quiet, at least until they make it to the shallow depression in the dirt where the beacon is supposed to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's gone,” Williams says quietly, over their in-helmet comms. “Someone must have taken it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Us or them?” Alenko asks, and that's the big question, isn't it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Williams says, pushing ahead. “They'll have gone for the lab.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leads them up a sharply sloping pathway toward a large pre-fabricated building of the type all human colony worlds are built from. A man steps out from behind a stack of storage containers, hands up. “Don't shoot!” he yells, when he sees the three of them with guns pointed at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Williams curses, and calls back: “Sneaking up on us like that almost got you killed!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard waves her off, then takes a cautious step toward the man. He's a civilian, that much is obvious, dressed in generic workers' coveralls. She doesn't lower her gun completely, but she does point it away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had to make sure you weren't one of those... </span>
  <em>
    <span>things</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” the man insists. “They got everyone else.” He nods toward the spikes lining the road and shivers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard narrows her eyes. “Why didn't they get you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man sighs heavily. “I was already behind the crates before the attack began. Nobody else... they didn't have time to hide.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Williams starts to ask a question, but Shepard silences her with a hand command and keeps her focus on the civilian. “What happened to the beacon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You'll have to take the cargo train. That's where the Turian took it. After he killed the other Turian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard's eyes narrow and her breath catches in her chest, burning inside her lungs. Her stomach flips uncomfortably. “What other Turian?” She hadn't been able to raise Nihlus on comms.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I think his name was Saren. That's what the first Turian called him, anyway. It looked like they knew each other. The first one relaxed, dropped his guard... and then Saren shot him in the back.” He nods toward a spot a little up the road, where Shepard can now clearly pick out a Turian body lying on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hurries forward, to investigate the scene. “It's Nihlus alright,” she mutters. Alenko shifts uncomfortably behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You knew him?” Williams asks. Shepard doesn't miss the hardness in her tone. Well. It wasn't that long ago that the Turians were at war with humanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He's a Spectre,” Alenko fills in. “He was...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Council wants the beacon?” Williams asks, and Shepard answers in the affirmative because it's probably the truth, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard doesn't know if Turians wear dogtags, but she logs the coordinates of Nihlus's body so that they can pick it up when they pick up Jenkins. And then she keeps moving forward, toward the train, and the beacon. Williams and Alenko follow behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful,” Alenko warns, as the train speeds toward its destination. “We're probably walking right into an ambush.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably,” Shepard replies. Again, it's nothing she hasn't done dozens of times. “Keep your guard up,” she warns. As soon as the train doors slide open, the Geth synthetics swarm them, looking disturbingly human. They don't carry any weapons besides their bare hands, but they have the numbers and the speed to quickly overwhelm Shepard's squad if they aren't careful. Still, with coordinated effort and staying at range, Shepard leads Williams and Alenko into clearing the area of hostile resistance quickly enough. That isn't their main problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone's rigged an explosive,” Alenko yells, as he turns a corner and skids to a stop. The bomb looks almost comically large to Shepard, but that only makes it more dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you disarm it?” she asks Alenko. In answer, he steps forward to try. She watches him carefully manipulating wires with a held breath until he steps back and flashes her a hand signal that means “safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's more, though,” he tells her, sounding worried. “There's a whole network of these things scattered around here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to find them,” Williams says, sounding strained. She holds up her omni-tool, which only shows the static that proves they're being jammed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Shepard mutters. “Guess we'll have to do this the hard way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be faster to split up, but someone will need to protect Alenko while he's disabling the bombs. So they move at a rapid clip through the cargo port, climbing up and down ramps and ladders seeking the hidden corners where more of the explosives might hide. A few more of the Geth intercept them along the way, but there seems to be only a handful of them, no true invasion force. With Shepard's heart thundering in her chest as time ticks by, she fires shot after carefully placed shot into her enemies, dropping them efficiently as Kaidan works.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They have found five bombs before he declares that the network has gone inert, keeping the port safe for now. Shepard wonders who planted the explosives. It doesn't fit with the tactics she has seen the Geth using so far. Maybe it was this Saren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look!” Williams calls out, pointing. “It's the beacon!” Shepard's head snaps in the direction Williams points out, and she sees a smooth mechanical obelisk, glowing. It hums at a frequency that Shepard can feel in her teeth, despite wearing a helmet. “It wasn't doing anything like that before,” Williams observes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan takes a step forward, then two, drawn in by the lure of unfamiliar alien technology. The humming intensifies, growing higher in pitch and vibrating at a faster frequency. Shepard barely has time to launch herself at Kaidan, throwing him clear of the blast zone, before the entire thing explodes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Vision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER TWO: VISION</b>
</p><p>
  <span>All Shepard knows is pain. It feels like every individual molecule in her body is being ripped raw, stripped down to its component atoms. She opens her mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. And the </span>
  <em>
    <span>images</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They play in her head with sharp clarity, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of panic and terror and grief. They follow one another at a speed her merely human brain cannot hope to absorb, thousands of years of knowledge all trying to unload itself all at once. She can't hope to make sense of any of it, except to lock on to what is familiar: these are images of war. In her mind, they mingle with images of Mindoir, and Akuze, the memories she keeps tucked down so deep that even her Navy-mandated psychiatrists can't get at them. As the flood of sensations overwhelms her and pulls her under, she suddenly feels like she's back there again, alone and overwhelmed and huddled inside a collapsing pre-fab shelter. It's why she hadn't been surprised to find the single survivor hidden behind his stack of crates on Eden Prime: that had once been her, she knows that it is possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor Chakwas,” a muddled voice is saying, as Shepard blinks her eyes open. “Doctor Chakwas, I think she's waking up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard groans, and swings her legs over the side of the medbay bed. She holds the heel of her hand to her forehead and tries to quell the overwhelming nausea that crashes over her like a wave. She isn't successful. The unknown owner of the voice just barely manages to put a small plastic container in front of her before she hurls. As she tries to steady her breathing, her eyes flicker upward to see... “Alenko?” she asks, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Her head still spikes with agony.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Close your eyes,” she suggests. “It'll help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, then instantly regrets the movement. Instead, she does as he says. The world stops spinning, a little, but the inside of her eyelids only provides a dark canvas for the flicking images of her dark dream – if indeed that's what it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can feel cool fingers pressed against her neck, checking her heart rate, no doubt. There are monitors that do the same thing, but most of the doctors Shepard has met trust their own old-fashioned tactile calculations more than any machine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long was I out?” she asks Doctor Chakwas with a rasping voice, her eyes still closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nearly fifteen hours,” comes the reply, as Chakwas presses a bottle of water into her hand. “How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard tries to take an objective assessment. “Head hurts,” she replies. “Nauseous... It feels like a hangover,” she decides. She tries opening her eyes again, and this time she manages to keep the nausea under control so long as she only looks straight ahead and doesn't move too much. Chakwas smiles in a thin line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you're physically fine, aside from a few scrapes and bruises from being thrown by the beacon's explosion. But I did detect some unusual brainwaves. And increased rapid eye movement. Signs of intense dreaming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>dreaming,” Shepard says. “I had some kind of... vision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. I'll add that to my report.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Shepard is already shaking her head fiercely, without caring that it spikes the pain and nausea to a nearly unbearable level again. If Chakwas puts something like that in her report, it will certainly land Shepard in front of yet another psychiatrist. They might even declare her unfit for duty, if they think she's seeing things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of vision?” Alenko asks. She turns to glare at him, but just then, the door to the medbay slides open, and Captain Anderson steps in. Shepard groans softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we have the room?” Anderson asks Chakwas, and the doctor slowly nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll be in the mess if you need me,” Alenko tells Shepard, and his voice is surprisingly soft. She nods absently, then looks to Captain Anderson, who sits down on the empty bed across from hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain looks her over, but once he confirms the doctor's assessment that she's physically fine, he gets straight to business. “I'll be honest, Shepard,” he says. “It doesn't look good. Nihlus is dead, the beacon destroyed, and-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“There was another Turian,” Shepard interrupts. “Saren.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson nods. “I know him. He's a Spectre. If he's gone rogue...” he sighs. “And the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Geth</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What in the hell are they doing out here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know,” Shepard says quietly, because Anderson seems to expect an answer. “Sir?” she asks tentatively. Anderson nods, urging her to continue. “What I saw... there's something coming. Something big enough to destroy all of us, the whole galaxy. I think this beacon... I think it was a warning, sir. We have to...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We'll tell the Council,” he determines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell them what? That I had a bad dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don't know what kind of information was stored in that Prothean beacon. And now, you're our only hope of finding out. It can't be a coincidence that you had this... vision, right after you touched the thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard knows he's right, but she still hesitates. “Whatever you think is best, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We're approaching the Citadel,” Anderson says. “Go and tell Joker to take us in.” He glances over at the shallow bucket that still contains the contents of her stomach. “That is, if my XO is fit for duty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard snaps him a salute and heads out to do as he's asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heard you had all kinds of fun on the ground,” Joker says, as Shepard stands just behind him. He doesn't even turn around. She doesn't know how he can even tell for sure that it's her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My head's killing me,” she says, by way of explanation and greeting. Joker grunts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You'd better strap in if you're staying here,” he says, nodding to the empty co-pilot's seat that is often, but not always, occupied by Kaidan Alenko. “We're coming into dock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard does as she's told, cinching safety straps tightly around her body as she watches Joker's fingers flying over the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>'s controls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Citadel Control, this is SSV Normandy, requesting permission to dock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roger, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you are clear to proceed.” The voice crackles over the comm, and Joker smiles as he eases the ship into the docking bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard raises an eyebrow as they pass another ship on their way in. She whistles softly. “Look at the size of that thing.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, well. Size isn't everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard can't help the chuckle that escapes her mouth, and Joker's grin grows even wider. The ship lands smoothly and settles in with a gentle bump. “Better get going, Commander,” Joker urges. “Captain Anderson is waiting with your ground crew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She disembarks with her team and heads for the Customs checkpoint where they'll need to clear security. Alenko stops her just before they make it out of the docking tube, and slips her a couple of analgesics, the heavy-duty stuff. She nods her thanks, and swallows them dry as they step out onto the Citadel. The space station at the center of Council space is nearly like a planet unto itself: it's certainly more populated than any of the human colony worlds Shepard has been to. All of the races and species from all over the galaxy mingle here, conducting business and politics that shape the lives of countless billions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And one of those shapers, Ambassador Udina, is spitting fire and fury at anyone who crosses his path, which unfortunately includes Shepard. Captain Anderson slips himself in front of her and tries to calm the politician down. “The failure of the mission was Saren's fault, not Shepard's,” he insists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You'd better hope the Council sees it that way,” Udina mutters in response. “Come on.” He pulls Anderson aside and instructs Shepard and her ground team to meet them at the top level of the Citadel Tower, then leaves them alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alenko leans over one of the guardrails overlooking the fountain in the middle of the Presidium, looking more than a little overwhelmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is why I hate politicians,” Williams declares. Shepard nods her agreement, then pushes off the guardrail and starts heading for the Tower. She rubs at the headache still pounding at her skull, but she can feel Alenko's pills already starting to work, and the pain is little more than a mild annoyance at this point, easily pushed aside for the sake of the mission.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they exit the transit system into the Presidium's lobby, they stumble upon two Turians in a heated argument. They're arguing about Saren. Shepard waves at Alenko and Williams, urging them to stay quiet as she tries to listen in on the conversation; fortunately, the Turians aren't trying very hard not to be overheard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... stall the Council?” one is saying. “You've got to be kidding me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other growls in frustration, then turns to face the approaching humans as the other stalks away. “Commander Shepard,” he greets her. “Garrus Vakarian, Citadel Security.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're investigating Saren?” Shepard asks.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Vakarian says. “Unfortunately, he's a Spectre, so practically everything about his activities is classified. I can't get any solid evidence. But he's bad news, I'm sure of it. Like you humans say, I've got a feeling in my gut.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alenko, watching the doors at the side of the room, sees them slide open. “Looks like the Council is ready for us,” he announces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck, Shepard,” Vakarian rumbles. “Maybe they'll actually listen to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn't have high hopes for that, but she's used to going in expecting the worst. Maybe the Council will surprise her. She lets Alenko lead her into the meeting chambers, and she stands at parade rest, keeping her eyes on Udina and Anderson. But it's clear even before either of the men have opened their mouths to speak that the Council has already made their decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard studies them: Turian, Salarian, Asari. All three of them frowning down at the small group of humans petitioning for their aid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The C-Sec investigation turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason, Ambassador Udina,” the Asari says smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And your history with Saren does leave you rather... biased,” the Turian concludes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The investigation needs more time!” Shepard interrupts. “I heard Vakarian-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Garrus Vakarian has presented his findings, and the investigation is concluded,” says the Salarian, making it clear that the conversation is closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the beacon-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The beacon is destroyed, thanks to your actions,” Saren reminds them all. He looms over the proceedings in holographic form, sneering down at Shepard and her companions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was you, not me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's not what your own report says. The beacon was still standing until you got in its way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard clenches her jaw hard enough to hurt, and says nothing. Saren is twisting the truth, and she'll make him pay.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What about Nihlus?” Alenko asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's right,” Udina injects. “We have eyewitness testimony that Saren killed Nihlus in cold blood.”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“You have the report of one traumatized dockworker,” the Salarian replies. “It's hardly compelling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saren is using his status as a Spectre to hide his activities from you!” Shepard snaps. “You're blind if you can't see that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your petition to revoke Saren's status as a Spectre is denied, Ambassador Udina,” the Salarian continues. “And this meeting is finished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard opens her mouth to protest again, but Anderson puts a restraining hand on her arm and guides her out of the room. She follows him, fuming, with Williams and Alenko on her heels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet if we can find that C-Sec officer, Vakarian, he'll have some information on Saren,” Alenko says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard glances at Anderson, looking for a hint of how to move forward when they have been so effectively shut down by the Citadel Council.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It couldn't hurt to talk to him,” the older man says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have contacts in C-Sec,” Udina says, but Shepard shakes her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can find him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Udina looks briefly surprised, but then he nods. Shepard is a candidate for the Spectres, after all, one he supports. She could hardly do that job if she couldn't track down someone as upstanding and out in the open as a C-Sec officer. Captain Anderson also trusts her, and he acknowledges her intentions and tells her to contact him when she gets any useful information. Shepard looks over her shoulder at Williams and Alenko. They joined her at the Council meeting in case they needed the testimony of the ground team from Eden Prime, but now there doesn't seem to be any reason for them to stay with her. They'll only slow her down. Except that Kaidan is looking at her with ill-disguised concern, and Ashley has just lost her entire squad, and Shepard knows what that's like. She sighs, and waves at them to follow her as she begins walking toward the C-Sec offices.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Spectre</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER THREE: SPECTRE</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice shot, Shepard,” the Turian says, sounding for all the galaxy like he'd been expecting her. Shepard keeps one hand on her gun, alert to any more incoming threats. But there's nothing but silence echoing around them in the aftermath of the haze of gunfire that's just ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vakarian?” she asks carefully. “What exactly are you doing here?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Garrus Vakarian scratches at one of his mandibles and lifts his hands in what might be a shrug.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Heard Fist here was brokering an exchange. Something to do with Saren.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard frowns. “An exchange?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Vakarian kicks at Fist's body. “Our friend here ran quite the operation here in the Wards. Drugs, information, even rumors about the slave trade. I'm not too sad about what happened to him.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But what's that got to do with Saren?” Shepard presses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fist had contact with the Shadow Broker. If anyone would have evidence against Saren, or know where it could be found, it's the Broker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's the exchange he was setting up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vakarian nods toward the dead man's flickering omni-tool. “According to that, he was supposed to be meeting up with a Quarian. She supposedly has proof that could link Saren to the Geth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard raises an eyebrow. “But if that's true, she's in a lot of danger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Garrus shrugs again. “We'd better hurry, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard lifts an eyebrow. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We? </span>
  </em>
  <span>she thinks, but honestly she'd rather keep Vakarian close, where she can find him, so she just nods and glances at the door behind them, urging him to lead on. The Turian takes her through the twisting back alleyways of the Wards. The streets aren't exactly empty: there are knots of people here and there, more than a few engaged in clandestine deals, but Shepard ignores them and focuses on Vakarian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Quarian is supposed to be meeting Fist's people here,” Garrus says quietly as he turns a corner. Shepard nods her understanding and readies her weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them walk into a war zone. There is an explosion only a few feet away that scatters three men and drops their bodies hard onto the metal decking of the space station. Shepard whips her head toward its source, to see a Quarian, suited and helmeted, standing calmly to one side of the alleyway. Gunfire peppers the narrow space. Shepard drops to cover and peeks out to efficiently ring out headshots against the men who are attempting to encircle the Quarian. Of course, with half their number taken out by the Quarian's explosive, they are at a significant disadvantage. Vakarian takes down the last of them, and holsters his weapon as he strides out to talk to the Quarian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard watches as he displays his C-Sec badge and introduces himself. The Quarian doesn't relax. She paces the narrow alleyway nervously, her head whipping back and forth seeking more threats. Shepard's opinion of her rises another notch. She's jumpy enough that Shepard figures this is her first gunfight, but the grenade she'd been carrying had done its job effectively. She may have entered an ambush blind, but she wasn't unprepared.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard puts her own gun away and waits until Garrus nods in her direction before she meets the Quarian's eyes, at least as well as she can through the tinted helmet visor. “I'm with the Alliance,” she tells the young woman. “I'm looking for evidence against Saren. He's been accused of treason-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He's working with the Geth,” the Quarian interjects. “And I can prove it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not here, though,” Garrus says. “We need to do this someplace safe.” He glances at Shepard again. “Might as well take her to the human embassies. Your ambassador will want to see this evidence anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard looks to the Quarian, who agrees, though somewhat hesitantly. By the time they make it to the Presidium, though, she seems to have relaxed somewhat. Ambassador Udina, however, is anything but relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard!” he snaps. “You don't make things easy, do you? Firefights in the Wards, an all-out assault on Chora's Den...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have the evidence you need,” Vakarian interrupts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Udina's eyes widen, as though he's shocked that the Turian has the audacity to interfere with his tirade. “What evidence?” he snarls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, the Quarian steps forward. “I have an audio log retrieved from a Geth memory core,” she announces. “It </span>
  <em>
    <span>proves </span>
  </em>
  <span>that Saren was working with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who the hell are you?” asks Udina, though he is throwing up his hands, outnumbered as he is by Anderson, Shepard, and their unlikely allies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don't get many Quarians here. What are you doing away from the flotilla?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm on my pilgrimage, my right of passage into adulthood. But that isn't important right now.” She taps a few buttons on her omni-tool and the familiar spikes of an audio waveform hover in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... the beacon brings us one step closer to the Conduit...” The voice crackles over a burst of static, but it is certainly clear enough to be heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's Saren's voice!” Anderson exclaims.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He's not working alone,” Tali tells them. “Listen.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She taps another button, and another voice enters the conversation, female, with the smooth cadence of an Asari: “And the Conduit will bring us one step closer to the return of the Reapers.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Anderson frowns. “I don't recognize that voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's this Conduit they're talking about?” Shepard asks.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He said the information came from the Prothean beacon,” Vakarian muses. “Maybe it's some kind of weapon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know of these Reapers,” Tali says. “An ancient machine race from 50,000 years ago. The Geth worship them as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They wiped out the Protheans,” Shepard adds. “That's what I saw in my vision!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If the Geth are trying to bring them back, and Saren is helping them...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would he do that?” Garrus wonders. “What could he hope to gain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Geth worship the Reapers as gods,” Anderson reminds the Turian. “And Saren is the prophet of their return.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to stop him,” Shepard insists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We must go present these findings to the Council,” Udina demands. He's already heading for the door, no doubt on his way to the Citadel Tower, and he's acting like their newfound evidence was his work all along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This evidence is irrefutable,” the Council agrees, nearly before Udina has even finished presenting it. “Given this information, we have no choice but to strip Saren of his Spectre status immediately. He is now nothing more than a fugitive from justice, a man on the run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet I recognize the voice in the recording,” says the Asari councilwoman. “The one speaking with Saren. That is Matriarch Benezia. She will prove herself a formidable ally for Saren.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean she'll help him,” Shepard declares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost certainly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know he's in the Traverse!” Udina snaps. “Send in your fleets!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A fleet cannot find one man, Ambassador.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Send me,” Shepard says.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You're not ready...” the Council starts to say, but Shepard won't take no for an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't exactly see dozens of volunteers lining up to go chase after a fugitive former Spectre. I want to do this. And more importantly, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>do it.”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>The Council members exchange glances, but it's the Salarian who speaks up first. “She's right,” he sighs. “This is a way to solve our problem that doesn't require fleets or armies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Asari councilwoman studies Shepard for several long heartbeats, then nods. “Very well, then. Commander Shepard, step forward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard does as she is told, with one quick backward glance at Anderson, who nods encouragingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Commander Shepard, we confer upon you all of the rights and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Division. Spectres are not trained, but chosen, forged in fire. Do not take this responsibility lightly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won't,” Shepard replies. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Forged in fire</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thinks. Yeah, that's her. “I promise I will track Saren down and bring him to justice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See that you do,” the Turian adds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And their little ceremony ends as abruptly as it had begun. The dismissal of Shepard and her small circle of allies is clear. Anderson puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and Udina shakes his head, as though his workload has just doubled and it's all her fault, despite the fact that he's just gotten exactly what he wanted: the first human Spectre, a beacon of hope for their entire race.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You'll need a ship,” Udina says. “A crew. You'll have access to special training and requisitions of course...” he sighs. “Meet me at the C-Sec Academy. Anderson and I will get you set up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods, and the two men split off from her group as they exit the Citadel Tower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations, Commander,” Alenko says, after a moment of awkward silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” she replies. “Come on. We'd better get going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The C-Sec Academy is a large building, but one that is more than familiar to Garrus Vakarian, and it's easy enough to find the docking bay Udina had indicated. Sure enough the ambassador is waiting with Captain Anderson at the bottom of the docking tube leading to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Commander,” Udina greets her. “Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The ship is yours now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard immediately turns toward Anderson. “What's going on, sir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had my chance, Shepard. I screwed it up. It's your turn now.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She shakes her head, looking from Anderson to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>and back. “I don't like it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>is quick and quiet. She's your best chance of finding this Conduit and stopping Saren. You know I'm right,” he adds, when the look on her face doesn't change. “You know the crew. You're a good leader, Shepard, they'll follow you. You don't need an old man like me dragging you down.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Fine,” Shepard finally agrees. It's obvious in her voice that she still doesn't like it, but she's a soldier, and soldiers do what they're told.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except that Udina clears his throat and reminds her: “You're a Spectre now, Shepard. You don't answer to us anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, but she's still Alliance Navy first and foremost, and nothing will change that. But she'll do whatever it takes to bring Saren down, and she tells Udina so when he whines about having to clean up her mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson claps her on the shoulder as the docking tube slides open. “Good hunting, Commander,” he says. Shepard gives him a nod of acknowledgement, takes a breath, and steps forward onto the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her ship.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Liara</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER FOUR: LIARA</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard rubs the back of her neck as she stands behind Joker in the cockpit. She imagines she can still feel the abrasive chemicals of the decontamination cycle clinging to her skin. Joker spins around as far as his chair will allow, catching her eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heard what happened to Captain Anderson. Guy survives a hundred battles only to be taken down by backroom politics.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This feels wrong,” Shepard agrees. “Like I'm stealing his ship from him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joker immediately shakes his head. “I know the captain got screwed, but that's hardly your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Shepard sighs. “I can't let him down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won't. Ma'am.” He flicks a couple of switches on his console and then gives her a pointed look. “Anyway, if there's anything you want to say to the crew, now's the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the way he's looking at her it's obvious that he's extremely curious about whatever she's going to say. Shepard closes her eyes for a brief second and imagines that the entire crew of the ship is looking at her that way. It's more than a little unsettling, but she takes control of the comm.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“This is Commander Shepard,” she says, although surely everyone already knows that. “You all know our mission: we're going to take down Saren and stop the Geth. This won't be easy, but it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>necessary. </span>
  </em>
  <span>No one else can do it, so we have to. The lives of every person of every species in the galaxy might be riding on us.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>But no pressure</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thinks, as she takes a breath. “Let's get it done,” she says, and she clicks off the comm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joker gives her an approving nod and turns his attention back to steering the ship. “Where to, Commander?” he asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Artemis Tau,” is Shepard's immediate response. It's one of the leads she'd gotten from Anderson and Udina: the Matriarch Benezia that they'd heard on Tali's recording has a daughter, a scientist who specializes in Prothean artifacts. That makes her useful from two angles: what she might know about her mother's activities, and what she might know about the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. If they're very lucky, she might even know about whatever Conduit this is that Saren is looking for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, aye, ma'am,” Joker says. “Lock in the coordinates for me and I'll get us there. Quick and quiet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods, and heads toward the CIC.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of the galaxy map, she feels small. She's no stranger to life aboard ship, but still, she's used to fighting battles on the ground, on one tiny section of one tiny planet or space station. If it weren't for the Batarian raid on Mindoir, she'd never have left that colony world where she was born. The galaxy as a whole looms on a scale she can barely comprehend. They can get from the Citadel to the Artemis Tau cluster almost instantaneously, thanks to the Mass Relays, but the cluster contains multiple solar systems, each with several planets orbiting their single star. How are they supposed to find one person in all of that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If they get close enough to a planet, they can scan it, looking for signs of life. Will that be enough?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head, trying to clear it. There’s no point in agonizing over it, anyway. It will take them a while to get where they’re going. She heads down to the crew quarters, hoping to find Ashley Williams. She and the gunnery chief hadn’t exchanged anything more than brief situation reports since Ash joined the crew of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And Shepard may be the only one who knows what it feels like to be adrift in space after losing your entire squad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She finds Ash, not in the sleeping pods or the mess, but in the cargo bay running an omni-tool over her armor. “Just checking the suit’s integrity, Commander,” Williams says, when she catches Shepard watching her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods her understanding. “You’re a good soldier, Williams,” she says. And not just because she takes care of her gear. She’s watching carefully enough to catch the flicker of doubt on Ashley’s face. “What happened to your squad wasn’t your fault,” Shepard says, quietly but firmly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Ashley sets her armor down on a nearby bench and raises an eyebrow. “We’re going to have this conversation now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No better time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley sits down on the bench and looks up at Shepard, who is leaning against one of the nearby lockers with her arms crossed over her chest. “Let’s have it,” she prompts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what happened on Akuze.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ve heard about it. You were on all the vids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Shepard says quietly. She remembers when those vids were made, ANN reporters surrounding her in the hospital’s tiny lounge area, deemed to be less depressing than her hospital bed in her hospital room. They all wanted her to put on a smile and give a rousing speech, but she’d been so drugged she’d barely managed to just look at the camera, and every question they asked threatened to set her off, into a frothing rage or a bout of depression. The doctors spoke for her, half the time. She’d just wanted to be left alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley shifts, searching Shepard’s face for some hint of why she’s really there. “I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about the vids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I went down to Akuze with fifty Marines. Forty-nine of them never left the planet. And I carry them with me, here,” she says, touching a fist to her heart. “And it hurts everywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t talk about this, to anyone, ever, how much it still hurts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They deserved better,” Ash says. “My squad…” She sits there, on the bench, dead-eyed and with a hollow voice, and Shepard knows she is remembering Eden Prime, as fiercely as if she were actually living through it again. “They were tortured to death on those spikes, turned into those </span>
  <em>
    <span>things</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not even human…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“And you had to kill them again.” Shepard sighs, and then joins Ashley on the bench. There is barely enough room for the both of them, but the gunnery chief doesn’t seem to mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just keep wondering, if I’d been faster, if I’d done something different…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t your fault,” Shepard repeats. She sighs again. “You know where I was after Akuze, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Psych hospital,” Ashley says, her voice still dull, and her head clearly still somewhere else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Alliance is going to make you talk to a professional, sometime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor Chakwas-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is good, but she’s not a psychiatrist. Look, I hated it too. I’m not going to make you talk if you don’t want to. But I just need you to know that I… get it. Maybe more than anyone else you’ll ever talk to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley nods, but Shepard takes the look on her face as the dismissal that it is. Still: “Thanks, Commander,” Ash says, as Shepard heads for the elevator. Shepard stops, and turns back to the gunnery chief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take a look at this, Commander.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard steps off the elevator to see Navigator Pressly, now her XO. He holds out a datapad for her to take, and she studies the readouts on the screen. “Prothean ruins?” she asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dozens of 'em on Therum. Might be we can find this scientist you're looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard grins, feeling genuinely optimistic for the first time in a while. Pressly smiles in return, a bit more cautiously, but he gives a sheepish “you're welcome” in response to Shepard's enthusiastic “thank you.” She calls down to the cargo bay and orders her vehicle maintenance crew to prep the Mako, and then she heads down to the engineering bay to talk to Vakarian, who has already made himself at home there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any chance you want to join me down on the planet?” she asks him. He looks up from whatever calibrations he's working on and flares his mandibles in surprise. “You have just as much of an interest in taking down Saren as I do,” Shepard reminds him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I just... there are plenty on your ship who don't want me here. I thought...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That I'd feel the same?” Vakarian doesn't answer, and Shepard closes her eyes and takes a breath. “I've got no problem with Turians. I don't trust people who lie to me, or hide things, but you've been nothing but up front since we met. And I thought we worked well together on the Citadel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We... did,” Garrus slowly concedes. “You really want me on your ground team?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know much more about Saren than I do. I might need your perspective.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Well, I can hardly turn down an invitation like that, can I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard smiles, and Vakarian barks out a laugh. “Glad to have you aboard,” she says, and he rolls his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I'm glad to be aboard,” he decides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that the ship is hers instead of Anderson’s, Shepard takes possession of the captain’s quarters nestled above the CIC. The luxury of the accommodations feels almost criminal when she’s used to the sleeping pods down on the crew deck. She sits on the edge of the bed and takes a steadying breath. She reaches for the datapad she’d left on the bedside table, and pulls it over to her. It rests in her lap as she tucks her legs underneath her and leans over the screen. Her stomach flips uncomfortably as she begins typing, trying to shape the impersonal words of the Alliance’s form letter into something that actually honors the dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except that she had barely known Lieutenant Jenkins, had worked with him for less than an hour before he fell victim to the Geth on Eden Prime. But still, he was under her command. He was her responsibility, and she failed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her apology to the family is as genuine as she can make it. She hits ‘send,’ and returns her datapad to the table. She plays with the dogtags she wears around her neck, and knows that Jenkins’s tags are on their way to be returned to his next of kin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lays on her back on the bed and stares at the ceiling, wrapping herself in the quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when it’s time to disembark onto Therum, she is ready. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Conditions inside the Mako are cramped. Alenko eyes Vakarian warily, but if he's uncomfortable with the Turian's presence, at least he doesn't say so out loud. Still, it's a relief to get out onto the planet's surface, which is dotted with mining camps and the Prothean ruins that the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>had scanned from orbit. The Mako takes them in toward one such structure, but the pathway leading to it is far too narrow for the vehicle to attempt. Shepard disembarks, signaling Alenko and Vakarian to follow. Any tension that may have existed between them on the ride down to the planet disappears as they form a defensive screen around Shepard, guns up as they keep alert for threats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The threats aren't long in coming. A Geth dropship screams overhead, offloading an armature that looms menacingly over Shepard and her companions, as well as a few rocket troopers and some stealth units she hasn't seen before. Now there's proof that Eden Prime wasn't an isolated incident, the Geth are out beyond the Veil in force, willing to openly infiltrate the galaxy searching for Saren's Conduit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, the mining-camp-turned-research-center has plenty of scattered equipment crates strewn about to provide cover. It's simple enough to duck behind one and pick off the Geth forces, patiently and inexorably. Shepard breathes a sigh of relief, slaps on some medi-gel to heal the laser burns from a Geth sniper's rifle, and looks to Vakarian and Alenko, who step out from behind their own crates and then begin picking their way forward toward the nearest pre-fab building, a shelter hastily thrown up over a cargo elevator leading down into the mining shaft.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>As they make their way down toward whatever they're going to find, there are traces of Prothean technology visible around and beneath them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I've never visited a Prothean ruin before,” Vakarian muses. “Aside from the Citadel, I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. She tends not to think of the Citadel as a ruin of an ancient civilization, but that is in fact exactly what it is. Humanity didn't build it, neither did any of the other intelligent races of the galaxy. The Citadel, like the Mass Relays, was discovered, not invented. She thinks of the beacon on Eden Prime, and the vision it had shown her, and wonders how much else was lost when the Protheans were wiped out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help! Please, can somebody hear me?!” The voice echoes through the near silence as the elevator door slides open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard waves a hand, although Vakarian and Alenko are already quiet. She listens for the direction the muffled shouting is coming from, then checks her gun and moves forward. There is a shimmering blue barrier strung across the rock walls, blocking access to the caves beyond. And there, trapped inside the barrier...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor T'soni?” Shepard guesses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Asari's eyes widen with shock, and then instantly narrow with suspicion. “How do you know my name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter?” Shepard asks. “You were calling for help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am trapped here,” T'soni explains. “The Prothean stasis field is a security mechanism. I triggered it to prevent the Geth from advancing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You trapped yourself?” Shepard notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was an unintentional side effect. You cannot disengage the Prothean systems from the outside. You must find a way past the security barrier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On it.” Shepard nods toward Alenko, whose technical expertise might be of use in this situation. Sure enough, it takes him only a few minutes of searching to find a still-functional mining laser that can be used to cut through the rock under the barrier, forming a tunnel that leads them directly to Doctor T'Soni. Shepard is just about to push the button that will presumably drop the stasis barrier when Alenko rests a hand on her armored forearm. She glances up, into his concerned dark eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her mother's working for Saren,” he says quietly. “Are we sure we trust her?”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>my mother!” Liara T'soni snaps, despite the fact that Kaidan's voice was pitched barely above a whisper. “And I don't want anything to do with that Turian bastard!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard hits the button; whether or not they trust T'soni is irrelevant in the moment, because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Liara says, as the barrier falls. Shepard nods, but she tenses up immediately as the rock around them begins to shake and rumble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell was that?” Vakarian mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These ruins are unstable,” T'soni explains. “The mining laser may have triggered a cave-in. We must hurry if we're going to escape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard opens a communications link to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>using her omni-tool. “Joker,” she calls. “Get the ship fired up and lock in on my signal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Done, Commander. ETA eight minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eight minutes. The way this place is coming down around their ears, Shepard wonders if they even </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>eight minutes. “Go!” she yells at the others, and they immediately begin sprinting through the shaking ground and falling rocks, clinging to scaffolding that is in very great danger of dropping out from under them any second. It's a miracle to escape the dig site and see the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>hovering over a patch of open ground, just waiting for them. Still, Shepard feels like she doesn't breathe until all four of them are safely aboard the ship.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Cutting it kind of close, Commander,” Joker's voice says over the ship's comm. “The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy'</span>
  </em>
  <span>s not rated for lava. It tends to, you know, interfere with our comm systems and... melt our hull.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We nearly died, and your pilot is joking?” Liara asks, sounding genuinely curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard shrugs. “It's a defense mechanism. You'll get used to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara looks dubious, but she slowly nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard peels off her armor, along with Alenko, leaving them in the Alliance-standard jumpsuits they wear aboard the ship. The two of them, along with Vakarian and Liara T'Soni, head to the comm room for a debriefing. Shepard is disappointed to learn that T'Soni has no further information concerning the Conduit, but when the Asari asks to stay aboard the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she can't really come up with a good reason to deny the request. At least until the Council appears on the comm and starts asking her about security protocols.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't tell me how to do my job,” Shepard snaps. When the Council does nothing but continue to question her actions on Therum, she prematurely disconnects the call. It doesn't make her feel any better, and she can </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joker's smirk as he confirms that the communication has ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard scrubs her face with her hand and heads down to the medbay, where Alenko had escorted a Liara who looked like she was about to faint right there in the briefing room. She doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>seem </span>
  </em>
  <span>like a security threat, but Shepard does need to know about her relationship with her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Asari is perched on the end of one of the medbay cots, scrolling through a datapad. She sets it down as Shepard approaches. “I never properly thanked you for saving my life. And not just from the volcano. Those Geth would have killed me if it weren't for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm just glad we got there in time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Liara looks a bit uncomfortable, but maybe she's just feeling out of place on a human ship. Shepard could try to ease her concerns, but instead, she gets straight to the point, asking the question that's really on her mind:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know why Benezia is working with Saren?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara shakes her head fiercely. “I haven't spoken to Benezia in years, but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>her. I have no idea why she'd do something like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you don't know her as well as you thought.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara sighs. “Benezia always talked about how the Asari needed to do more to shape galactic history. Maybe she thought that working with Saren would help the Asari people, somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to help me find her. We have a lead. She might be on Noveria. But I want you with me while I check it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara nods. “Alright. I can do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll tell Joker to make the jump. Meet me in the briefing room, if you're up to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Doctor Chakwas says I am going to be fine. I am impressed with her knowledge of Asari physiology.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chakwas is the best. You're in good hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Shepard. I am glad to be able to help.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Transit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER FIVE: TRANSIT</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard is exhausted, but too keyed up to be able to fall asleep. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like all Alliance vessels, runs on shifts so that a significant percentage of the crew is awake no matter what the hour. Even so, the middle of the artificial night feels calmer, somehow, than the hustle of the “day”. She traverses the halls exchanging quiet greetings with the men and women at their stations. She's glad to find Alenko in the mess. She wasn't looking for him, exactly, but he's been with her all the way through, since before Eden Prime, and she could use his advice as she attempts to make sense of everything that's happened since then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's tinkering with a console that serves some uncertain purpose, but he walks away from it and joins her as soon as she starts pushing buttons on the coffeemaker. She smiles, and leans against the food prep counter as she waits for the bean juice to brew.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>Kaidan leans over the countertop a few feet away, studying her. “Can't sleep, Commander?” he asks carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I've had these... intense dreams... ever since the beacon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan frowns. “It should've been me. I mean... you pushed me out of the way. I never asked you why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn't really thinking about it at the time,” Shepard admits. “I just wanted to protect you.” It's her job to protect all of her crew, but that day on Eden Prime it hadn't been anything as generic as that guiding her actions. She saw Kaidan Alenko in danger – Kaidan </span>
  <em>
    <span>specifically</span>
  </em>
  <span> – and she knew she needed to keep him safe, no matter what.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And from the look he's giving her now, he understands exactly what she is not saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scratches the back of his neck and doesn't quite meet her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Shepard asks pointedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alenko squirms uncomfortably. Then he sighs. “It's probably not my place to say this, but...” he shrugs. “I don't like the way the Council isn't supporting us. Supporting you. The Geth, and these Reapers... they're a threat to all the species in the galaxy, and they're leaving you to solve it alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have our orders. Bitching about it won't change them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. You're right. But it's funny. We get out to the Final Frontier and find it's already settled. And the occupants don't even seem impressed by the view. Or the dangers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard smiles, and crosses her arms over her chest. “You're a romantic,” she accuses. “Sign up for the dream, Alenko?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs. “Yeah, I mean, I did read a lot of those books when I was a kid. The hero goes to space to prove he's worthy of the woman he loves. Or, you know... for justice.” Shepard's smile grows wider, and she settles in to listen as Kaidan continues to talk. He shakes his head as if to clear it before looking her in the eye. “I'm not in it for the dream, Commander. I just... I did some thinking after Brain Camp – sorry, “Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training” - and I wanted to do some good. See what's out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ever regret it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah. Anyway, I've wasted enough of your time, haven't I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response, Shepard just pours him a cup of coffee and hands it to him. “It's not a waste, Kaidan. I need to trust you in combat, remember? I want to know what kind of man I have at my back.”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“Is that so? You hunt down all your crew for midnight chats, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, just you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I might need some time to um... process... that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Alenko,” she says, patting him on the shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks back just before she turns the corner toward the elevator. In the dim light, she can't tell if Kaidan is blushing, but he has returned to his work on the console with new vigor, and when he glances up to find her watching him, he does look slightly embarrassed. He looks away first, and Shepard tries to ignore the little flip her stomach does as she presses the elevator control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's a relief to collapse into the copilot's seat next to Joker, who, as far as she can tell, never sleeps. He gives her a sideways glance as she settles into her chair. “It'll be at least twelve hours until we reach Noveria, Commander. You might try getting a little shut-eye?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Later,” she insists, and he grunts a casual acknowledgement. The two of them sit in comfortable silence for a time, as Joker effortlessly flies the ship through the vast emptiness of deep space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How'd it go with Alenko?” Joker finally asks, after several minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard doesn't look at him, keeping her focus on the viewport instead, staring out at the stars, which form themselves into unfamiliar constellations, so far from home. It's been so long since Shepard has stayed in one spot that she might as well be perpetually homeless. Mindoir, the colony world on which she was born, is nothing but razed ruins now. She thinks Joker probably understands what it's like to have a wanderer's heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know what you're talking about,” she says, in answer to his question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Commander,” Joker replies. But he doesn't push her any further. Shepard takes out her datapad and scrolls through messages from a few of the dozens if not hundreds of people who now suddenly seem to know her name. Well, she has been on all the vids lately – first human Spectre, and all that, and people still remember her as the visible beacon of hope that ANN tried to make her after Akuze. Still, there are </span>
  <em>
    <span>so many </span>
  </em>
  <span>people who want her to take on their problems as her own. She has her own problems. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sets her datapad down without responding to any of the messages. With a dozen hours to go until they reach Noveria, there is nothing to do but worry. Joker silently hands her his ‘pad, which is opened to a simple strategy game she remembers from childhood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fills the hours,” he points out.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“Thanks.” She swipes her finger over the screen in increasingly complex patterns, watching the resultant points of light glow and fade in response to her touch. Musical chimes of affirmation ring in addition to the light, each chirp and ding releasing a burst of dopamine in her sleep-starved brain. Joker divides his time between flying the ship and watching her play. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the soothing music lulls her to a state of restfulness that nearly mimics sleep. Joker sees her eyes slipping closed, and he pulls his datapad gently out of her hand. “Get some sleep,” he tells her, and she nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s comfortable enough to fall asleep in the chair, but at Joker’s continued urging she pushes herself out of the fabric cradle and heads for an unused sleeping pod, making sure that XO Pressly is able to take over until she awakens several hours closer to Noveria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joker spins around in his chair to welcome Shepard as she sleepily enters the pilot’s domain once more. “Hey, Commander, you’re just in time. We’re on approach.” He thumbs a switch and then leans into his microphone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is SSV Normandy, requesting docking and berth.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Normandy, your arrival is unscheduled. State your business.” The voice is a bizarre cross between angry and bored. Shepard and Joker trade a glance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Citadel business,” he replies. “We’ve got a Council Spectre on board.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are several long seconds of silence before Noveria Port Control responds. “Very well. Bear in mind that we will be checking your identity. If your story does not check out, we will impound your ship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joker flips the mic off and rolls his eyes. “What a cheery bunch. I think I’ll take my next leave here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard doesn’t bother trying to hide her smile. She tries to mentally prepare herself to deal with the bureaucratic headache that no doubt awaits her. She suits up along with Alenko and Liara. They are looking for the Asari’s mother, after all. Maybe she can help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Liara hovers nervously behind Shepard, until the human female spins around, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrow raised. “What?” she asks the Asari. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just thought… I’d understand if you don’t want me with you here. I mean, you are going after Benezia and I…” she trails off, ducking her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, this is what it comes down to: if it’s me or her, which one of us are you going to shoot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara’s eyes widen. Shepard’s an orphan, but she knows on an intellectual level that most people should react poorly to being asked to shoot their own mother. But then, Liara had said that she hadn’t spoken to Benezia in years. Shepard has no idea what their relationship is like. It’s obviously complicated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant what I said before. I don’t want anything to do with Saren, and if Benezia is helping him…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Shepard replies. She doesn’t quite understand why she feels such instinctive trust toward Liara, but she believes the Asari when she says she’s got her back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard glances at Kaidan, who gives her a determined nod. He watches Liara carefully, but he seems willing to trust that she’s on their side as long as Shepard believes it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifts to cover Shepard as they make their way through the docking tube and enter Noveria proper. A squad of security guards blocks their way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard takes a step forward, signaling to Liara and Kaidan to stay where they are. Her hand stays on her gun. The guards immediately notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Firearms are not permitted in the port,” the woman with a captain’s insignia says, her narrowed eyes clearly not impressed by Shepard or her crew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forget it,” Kaidan snaps. “We’re not giving you our guns.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spectres have the authorization to carry weapons anywhere required for their own safety or that of others,” Shepard recites. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain of the security patrol exchanges glances with her men, and opens her mouth, obviously ready to protest, when a squeal rings out over the security squad’s comms, and a voice echoes over the frequency: “Stand down, Captain. Her clearance checks out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain reluctantly lowers her gun. “I’ll be watching you, Spectre. Tread carefully.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard throws a mock salute in her direction and then walks forward through the newly created pathway formed by the guards shifting position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A woman is waiting for her at the top of the stairs, a smile on her face. “Welcome, Spectre. I apologize for the hostility, but you must understand that the captain was just doing her job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You send this kind of welcoming committee to greet all your visitors?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only the ones who enter our space without warning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m looking for someone,” Shepard says, getting right to the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might be able to help you. I am Administrator Parasini.” She beckons Shepard to follow her as she turns and heads for her office.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go up a set of stairs and enter a tastefully decorated room three times larger than it has to be for its purpose. Two potted plants stand in the corners, and two chairs sit in front of the desk. Parasini slips into her chair behind it and pulls up the holographic display above her computer. She stares through the hazy orange glow at Shepard, inviting her to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An Asari matriarch landed on this planet a few days ago. I need to speak with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Matriarch Benezia has left the port. She is at the Peak 15 research station, to the best of my knowledge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I get there?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The storms in the area make it much too dangerous to fly. You’ll have to drive in. Mister Anoleis can get you the required clearances to leave the port.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I have Spectre clearances. You can’t stop me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Parasini gives her a hard look but eventually sighs. “I suppose you’re right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard glances back at Alenko and Liara, and grins. “Tell me about this Peak 15 facility.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Parasini looks uneasy. “It is a secure research facility,” she replies. “I’ve never been there. But there are rumors of… dangerous experiments. Unexplained deaths, that kind of thing.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Liara frowns. “Why would my mother go someplace like that?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dangerous experiments, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shepard thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like Geth beyond the Veil?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’ll find out,” she says to her Asari companion. <br/><br/></span>
  <span>She takes the garage pass that Parasini hands to her and beckons for Liara and Kaidan to follow. Then they’re back in the Mako, pushing their way through a blizzard. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Our scanners are jammed!” Shepard calls out. Alenko, who is driving, gives her a pointed look, and she nods. This is exactly what had happened when they’d been within range of the Geth assault on Eden Prime. The synthetics are capable of scrambling their equipment, making themselves more difficult to find. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Sure enough, within seconds, a rocket-propelled grenade slams into the Mako’s shielding, causing the entire vehicle to shake. Shepard jumps into the gun turret and starts sending out staccato bursts of fire, relying on visual rather than scanners to aim. This unfortunately lets the Geth get dangerously close to the Mako, but the vehicle’s superior firepower quickly overpowers the Geth soldiers marching inexorably forward on foot. “Liara, fix the shields!” she snaps, because someone has to and Alenko, who usually takes on that job, is still behind the wheel. To her immense relief, the Asari simply nods and does as she is told. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Still, the repair process is slow, agonizingly so when weaponsfire keeps slamming into their flickering shields and hitting the armor beneath. Safety alerts flash red on Kaidan’s console, and Shepard is tempted to jump out of the tank to engage the enemy on their ground. She has one hand on the handle above the door before the shields snap back to life and Liara sighs in relief. Shepard returns to the gun turret and begins taking out the remaining Geth, one by one. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When their path is clear, Alenko continues to push the Mako forward. Storm winds buffet their vehicle as it winds its way up the mountain switchbacks. They cut their way through several more Geth patrols, and, finally, the Peak 15 research facility becomes visible looming in the distance. The doors to the facility’s garage surprisingly slide open, welcoming the Mako like a hungry maw. Shepard shoots Kaidan a look, and readies her gun. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Peak 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER SIX: PEAK 15</b>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk into a sterile-looking environment not unlike that of a ship, all metal and smooth plastics. The air smells of antiseptic, like a hospital. But there are layers of other scents atop that, something animal, and when Shepard looks carefully she can see the marks of something that looks like acid burns on the walls and floors. But the place is devoid of people, and there is an alarm blaring insistently from speakers mounted overhead. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What happened here?” Liara asks. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard shrugs, still scanning through the sights of her assault rifle. As she walks she listens to the words interspersed with the strobing alarm, and she hears “reactor,” causing her to quicken her pace. Liara and Kaidan fan out behind her. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Kaidan, can you tell what’s wrong with the reactor? It’s not about to blow on us, is it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He shakes his head, silent for a minute as he too listens to the crackling announcements overhead. “It’s been shut down,” he says. “Some sort of safety protocol. But there’ll be no power here unless we can get it running again.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“And what about Benezia? Is she here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She must be, somewhere,” Liara demands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She might’ve left,” Shepard says gently. But she hopes not. She can’t afford for this trip to be a waste of her time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rounds a corner into a cafeteria space when something rushes at her from across the room. It’s insectile, but huge, coming up to her shoulders in height and brandishing sharp grasping claws at the ends of flailing tentacles. She lets off a burst of her assault rifle, emptying her clip into the creature. With Liara and Kaidan also taking shots at it, the thing eventually falls still, its dark blood oozing onto the floor. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What the hell is that thing?!” Kaidan exclaims, as Shepard methodically scans the area for signs of any more incoming attacks. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Area clear,” she announces, and only then does she look back at the body of the thing on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she murmurs, and the thought fills her with dread. She knows that there are plenty of mysteries in the vast galaxy that she has never encountered, but when one of those mysteries is swarming through a research station trying to kill her, she doesn’t exactly experience wonder and awe at its presence. Her only priority is survival, and that means gunning these things down where they stand. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Come on,” Kaidan says, nodding toward a flickering neon sign above their heads that announces a doorway leading to a barracks. “Maybe if there’s anyone still alive, they’ll have holed up in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. It’s a good thought. She falls into step behind Alenko, who steers them through the shadows following the light that’s been mounted onto the barrel of his gun. The beam sweeps through the empty air, illuminating only sterile walls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you hear that?” Liara asks, as they ascend the narrow emergency staircase tucked behind an elevator shaft. There are occasional loud bangs and crashes of indeterminate origin, and the familiar pops of gunfire. As they get closer, Shepard can hear shouting, though she cannot make out the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like someone’s up here after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors slide open ahead of them, as they have all through the facilities, the little light next to the door panel flashing green each time. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The room they enter is cluttered with makeshift barricades, and only Alenko’s biotic barrier thrown over the both of them prevents Shepard from being riddled full of holes as gunfire rings through the small space. When the sound has died away, she holds up her hands in a gesture of peace. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m here to help,” she announces. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>A skinny man with graying hair steps out from behind a pile of overturned furniture, squinting at her as though he can’t quite make her out. “Who are you?” he asks, his voice trembling. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“My name is Shepard. I’m a Spectre. Can you tell me what happened here?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The man slowly lowers his gun but does not let go of it. That’s fine. Shepard keeps one hand on her weapon as well. He begins a faltering explanation that includes the words “containment” and “quarantine” and “breached.” It’s nothing Shepard hadn’t suspected, but it fills her with dread all the same. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What are those things?” she asks the scientist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rachni,” he tells her, with wild eyes. “There was an egg…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>There is a sound coming from behind them, the click-chittering of one of the Rachni soldiers approaching from the still-open door. Another bursts in from a door Shepard hadn’t seen, hidden in the shadows in the far corner of the room. The scientist turns, squeezing the trigger of his gun and sending rapidfire pulses of weaponsfire at the creature. But then a third one comes in from yet another direction, and before Shepard can call out a warning, the man’s chest has been speared through by one of the insectoid alien’s knife-like claws. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan ends the scientist’s killer with a couple of well placed shots, and Liara’s biotics rend their way through the second Rachni while Shepard finishes off the third. Soon, there is no sound in the room but their own harsh and ragged breathing. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The scientist twitches, still desperately clinging to life at the end of the dead Rachni’s tentacle-arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he gasps, his dying words rattling through the air. “You have to… purge…” He fumbles around in the pocket of his coat, finally handing Shepard an OSD. His fingers are already cold as she grabs it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” she says to Kaidan and Liara. “We might still find Benezia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leave the barracks room behind them and follow the emergency maps posted at various intersections throughout the station, heading for the one labeled “secure lab” - the area from which the Rachni had escaped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A dozen Rachni chitter and slam themselves against the transparent wall that leads into an entrance hallway. The door into that passageway is locked, but it seems like the only way through to the room where Benezia is almost certainly waiting. And even though she is certainly able to bypass the lock, Shepard knows it isn’t a tactically sound idea for her and her team to go up against that many Rachni in a confined space. They lost a man trying to fight three of them in the open, cover-strewn barracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Kaidan who finds the side door, this one unlocked, that leads to a little control room with a computer console glowing in the center. Shepard takes the OSD given to her by the scientist in the barracks, suddenly certain of what he meant by “purge.” The computer confirms her theory, telling her that the “biological contaminants” in the adjoining room will be eliminated by the weaponized aerosol when she presses the button made accessible when she inserted the OSD. She presses the button without hesitation and watches as what looks like a cloud of mist, or fog, fills the chamber on the other side of the transparent wall. It seems to take a long time for that artificial fog to clear, but when it does, the Rachni are nothing more than corpses littering the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Shepard says, waving Kaidan and Liara forward. “We don’t have time to waste.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When they get there, Shepard half-expects the lab to be empty, like nearly all of the rooms they’ve entered so far. But as the green light blinks on the door panel and the door slides smoothly open, an Asari woman turns to face them. Her skin is a darker blue than Liara’s, and she wears a stately headdress. She radiates power, a certain gravitas, as though she is a woman who expects to be obeyed. Her eyes sweep over Shepard and her companions, before settling on the human commander. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t be moved to sympathy,” she assures them all. “No matter who you bring with you.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Benezia’s sharp gaze moves behind Shepard, to the patch of shadow in which her daughter is standing. Shepard too takes a quick glance at Liara, but she can’t read the woman’s face, and she returns her focus to Benezia. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That isn’t why Liara’s here,” Shepard insists. “She came because she wanted to. I didn’t ask her to.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>A lazy smile stretches over Benezia’s face. “What did you tell her about me, Liara?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What should I have told her? That you’re insane? Evil? What could I say?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The pain in her voice is obvious even to Shepard, who has never been great at knowing how to comfort others. Benezia’s piercing gaze returns to the newly-appointed Council Spectre standing there with one hand on her gun. “Have you ever fought an Asari commando unit? Few humans have.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You won’t look so smug with a hole in your head,” Shepard growls. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Your insolence is a poor mask for your fear,” Benezia replies. She flashes a hand motion, and the door behind her slides open smoothly, allowing her commandos to enter the room. They hold their guns out in front of them, but Shepard knows that their real power lies in their biotic abilities. She’s glad to have Kaidan and Liara at her back to help combat those skills. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them duck behind cover, but the crate Shepard has crouched behind soon goes flying with a wave of a hand. The Asari commando stands at the top of the stairs a few feet away. Shepard empties her gun, but most of the weaponsfire bounces harmlessly off of the woman’s shield. She ducks low and scuttles to the right, hiding behind the curve of the wall as she gets her bearings and allows her rifle to cool down. She can hear Alenko’s gun popping, see the flashes of light that accompany each burst of fire. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She peeks out from behind the corner to see the Asari she had been shooting at now trapped in a cage of blue light. Sweat beads on Liara’s skin as she manipulates the mass effect field around the enemy commando, holding her in stasis. Shepard has no idea how long her ally will be able to keep the enemy paralyzed, but she doesn’t waste time wondering. This time, when she fires her assault rifle, the gunfire rips through the Asari commando, dropping her to the ground with dark blood pouring from her wounds. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard slowly exhales before looking up again. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Incoming!” Alenko calls out, and a door slides open at the other side of the room, dispensing a handful of Geth soldiers into the fight. Shepard curses, then throws a grenade into the group. The explosion makes her ears ring, but she shakes her head to clear it and sights on the Geth who gets up first. A rain of gunfire quickly drops it again. The others clatter against the walls as Kaidan launches a biotic throw against them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Liara rips the synthetics to shreds using her own biotic abilities, and Shepard helps by dispensing well-placed bursts of rifle fire whenever she has a clear shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her team is outnumbered by Benezia’s squads of commandos, but by working together, they slowly but surely cut their way through the enemy forces. Soon, the doors stop sliding open. No further reinforcements are coming. They only have Benezia to deal with, now. Benezia, and the Rachni Queen thrashing in the reinforced cage behind her. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You have to help me,” Benezia gasps. “Saren’s… control…” She shakes her head violently, then begins clawing at her temples as though there is something inside of her brain that she is desperate to dig out. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mother!” Liara calls, taking a step forward. It is the first sign of sympathy or even connection to Benezia that she has yet shown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benezia’s gaze tracks toward her daughter. She nearly crumples at her feet. “Liara, please…” she begs. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Shepard asks, gun still pointed at the Asari matriarch. “Is Saren controlling you? He’s not even here.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The key is Sovereign - his flagship. When you’re aboard it, it’s like… it sings to you. Calls to you. You sit and Saren’s feet and weep for his approval. You’ll do anything for him.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mother…” Liara repeats, softer this time. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’ve always made me proud, Liara,” Benezia says with a warm smile. And then, as Shepard watches, her eyes grow dark and empty, lit only by the purple-blue glow of the biotic energy swirling around her. Her smile becomes a cruel grimace. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Die</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she orders, and Shepard can’t tell if she’s looking at her or Liara, or neither of them. She doesn’t have time to wonder. She can feel the familiar pulse of energy as Liara’s biotic barrier envelops her, and she dashes to cover just as more of Benezia’s commandos begin to surround her team. Shepard peeks out from behind the crate where she’s crouched and fires off a series of bursts from her Avenger. The commando she’s aiming at staggers backward as the shots hit her. She falls to her knees as Alenko backs Shepard up with a bit of well-placed gunfire of his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, Shepard can’t tell which of them lands the killing blow on Benezia, and Liara’s face is a mask as she looks down at her mother’s body. Shepard remembered the question she’d asked her Asari companion: “if it’s me or her, which one of us are you going to shoot?” Looks like she has her answer. She tries to feel relieved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside its cage, the Rachni Queen is stirring. Shepard takes a step toward the reinforced window, and the hairs prickle on the back of her neck as something moves behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns to see Benezia’s body stumbling to its feet: clearly still lifeless, clearly being controlled. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We must sing,” she wheezes, and a chorus of whispers fills Shepard’s mind. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Who are you?” she says, into the quiet. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We are Rachni. We must sing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re controlling Benezia? Even though… surely, she’s dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are… breathing on the embers. You must set us free.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard casts a backward glance at Alenko. He shrugs, as Liara blinks and voices her opinion: “The Rachni have done nothing to us. Surely, even you can see that by doing this we may gain an ally.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>“I can’t risk it,” Shepard insists. “The Rachni were a threat to the entire galaxy. And the ones here have done nothing but try to kill us.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She pulls up the command on the console that will flood the chamber with toxins enough to kill anything living inside it, and she inputs the required code before she can second-guess it. She swears she can hear the Rachni screaming as it dies.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Question Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER SEVEN: QUESTION EVERYTHING</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara doesn’t speak to her for the entire journey back to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and the atmosphere inside the comm room is tense as the crew sits in a circle around Shepard for a mission briefing. Ashley Williams nearly comes to blows with Liara, and Shepard snaps at both of them before exhaling, long and slow, and ordering everyone to get some rest. Once she’s alone in the too-small chamber, Joker patches the Council through. They, too, are unhappy with her decision. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Do you take pleasure in committing genocide?” asks the Turian councilman. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course I don’t! But it was them or me, Councilor. The choice was easy.” She’d make it again, in a heartbeat, and who cares about the fallout? </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She vaguely hears the Salarian quietly saying something about consequences, but this time at least the Council accepts her report and ends the call before she hangs up on them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She wanders the halls of the ship, but Joker, guiding them toward Feros, is in no mood to talk, and she isn’t sure she can handle seeing Liara, who Pressly reports has disappeared into her quarters and asked not to be disturbed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She ends up in the mess, which is empty at this time of day except for Alenko, who stands there in oil-stained pants and a black undershirt doing something behind an open panel from which dangles a set of colored wires. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something broken I ought to know about?” she asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up, something unreadable in his dark gaze as he meets her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he says, after a few seconds. “Nothing’s broken.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just routine maintenance, then.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s right.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard sighs. “Okay, Alenko. Spill. You’ve got a little black raincloud hovering over your head.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to get the deck wet,” he replies instantly, a little smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious,” she demands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan nods. “I am, too,” he says softly. His eyes search her face, but Shepard doesn’t know what he’s looking for. She holds her breath, unwilling to squirm under the intensity of his unblinking stare. And then, after a second, the moment breaks. Kaidan scratches the back of his neck and flashes her a shy smile. “I’ve been thinking about Brain Camp again,” he admits. “Funny, I haven’t thought about Jump Zero for years, and now I can’t seem to stop.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Anything in particular?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just… you know all the records about those years are classified? Because the ones in charge… made mistakes.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mistakes,” Shepard repeats, already not liking where this is going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There weren’t any human biotics then. No experts they could ask for help to train all the eezo-exposed children who were suddenly displaying… talents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’d have to ask an alien species. Asari or…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turians,” Kaidan fills in. “They kept it all hush-hush, of course, so soon after the war. Didn’t go through the Citadel at all. But my teacher was a Turian. Commander Vyrrnus. He liked to introduce himself by telling us ‘I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father.’ Of course, my father didn’t even fight in the war. And Vyrrnus seemed to have it in for me just because of that. But not just me. He was brutal, Shepard. A lot of kids broke under his training. Some died.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you telling me this?” Shepard asks carefully, on an exhaled breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno,” Kaidan admits. “I never really talk about it. It just seems… important. Like… the choices we make, they matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what this is about? You don’t like my choices?” A hard edge of anger slips into Shepard’s voice. Kaidan has seen how she responds to those who question her. She cuts them out, from literally disconnecting a call with the Citadel Council to the cold shoulder she’s been giving Liara ever since the Rachni Queen’s death on Noveria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, almost sad. And he brings up one hand to ward off the beginnings of a headache. “I’m not questioning your decisions, Shepard, I just… I’ve seen what happens when people cut corners when it comes time to make a tough decision. And I don’t want that to happen to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know you cared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I do. Care, I mean. But I’m not one to screw up the chain of command and-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard places a hand atop his, and the skin-to-skin contact sends a flush of warmth through both of them. Kaidan bites his tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I care about you too,” Shepard says quietly. “But there are regs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Kaidan sighs. But he’s still smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard lets the touch linger for a second more, then she pulls away and cracks her knuckles. “I’d better let you get back to work,” she says, nodding toward the still-open access panel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Kaidan agrees. “We’ll talk later, Commander.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the conversation with Kaidan still replaying in her mind and bolstering her resolve, Shepard decides to confront Liara rather than wait and let whatever issues stand between them fester. She finds the Asari tucked in the little room behind the medbay, reading something on a datapad. She sets it down the moment Shepard enters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re here because of my mother…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m not. Well, not entirely. I just wanted to…” Shepard sighs, takes a deep breath, starts again: “Ship like ours, I have to be able to rely on the people on it. Are you and I going to have a problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara’s eyes widen, and something that looks like guilt flashes across her features. But that guilt disappears in a flash, and the hardness in Liara’s eyes makes it easy for Shepard to see that she really is Benezia’s daughter after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed </span>
  </em>
  <span>an entire species!” Liara accuses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard’s hand clenches into a tight fist. “It was the right call,” she finally says, with cold finality. “If you don’t think so, you’re free to leave.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Liara stares at Shepard, but her gaze breaks before the human woman’s, and she ducks her head. “I wouldn’t do that,” she says softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard leans against the closed door of the small room and crosses her arms over her chest. “Why the hell not?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Because</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Shepard, I… care about you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, or the Prothean beacon locked in my head?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara sighs. “I’ll admit, the beacon was the initial source of my interest in you, but… I’ve watched you. I’ve seen the way your crew follows you, and I see the way you put yourself in harm’s way so that others don’t have to, and I admire you. I want to stay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to stay,” Shepard repeats carefully, and Liara nods. “Even though I’ve doomed the Rachni to extinction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara sucks in a breath, her lips contorting as though she tasted something sour, but she keeps her eyes on Shepard’s and, finally, she says: “The Rachni were already extinct.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With many hours still to go until their arrival on Feros, Shepard finds the Quarian, Tali’Zorah, in Engineering. The young woman in the suit gushes over the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s drive core, radiating such excitement that Shepard can’t help but smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about this pilgrimage,” the commander prompts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tali nods. “Every Quarian leaves the Migrant Fleet when they come of age. You’re supposed to bring something back, to prove your worth as an adult member of the Fleet, you know? But sometimes I wonder if you’re just supposed to… miss home.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She sounds sad, and Shepard feels her heart twinge a little. Tali is around the same age she was when she lost everything on Mindoir. Some days, she feels like she would give anything to have a home to go back to. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re lucky,” she tells Tali. “To have a home like that. A family that cares so much for you.” She doesn’t know much about the Quarian race, but she knows they lost their homeworld generations ago, that the Migrant Fleet is about survival at any cost. No wonder Tali’Zorah feels like a kindred spirit despite her youth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re here,” she tells the young Quarian. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Tali agrees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard wanders down to the hangar where the Mako is parked, and finds Williams tucked into the shadow of the vehicle, sitting cross-legged with a datapad held on her lap. She’s laughing, and Shepard smiles. It’s not a sound she hears very often on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, except occasionally in the cockpit with Joker. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Am I interrupting?” she asks, and Ash turns around, thumbing a button on the ‘pad as she does so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m just watching a vid from my sister. She… she won’t stop sending me messages now, after Eden Prime. I think it’s the first time it’s ever really hit her that I might die, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods, but in truth she’s not quite sure what it’s like to have a family to get vid messages from. She’s always been fiercely independent, and from the time she joined the Alliance it had never really bothered her that she didn’t get mail or visits the way others did. She had drinking buddies, squadmates… it had always been enough. The crew of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>already feels more like a home than she can ever remember having in her adult life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a sister?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Three of them, actually. Sar’s the youngest,” Ashley explains, waving the datapad. “She’s still a baby, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard glances at the screen, to see a paused image of a teenage girl grinning at the unseen camera. “She’s cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trouble. But yeah, she’s pretty cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to see if you’re up for a mission,” Shepard says. “We’ll be landing on Feros soon. I’ll need a ground team.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, Commander. I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods, grateful for Williams’s enthusiasm. “Get your gear together. Joker says we oughta be there in a couple of hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley salutes, then waits for Shepard to walk away before un-pausing her video message. Shepard, on the way to the elevator, listens to Ashley’s laughter and her teenage sister’s chatter, glad that Williams has someone to help take the weight of what happened on Eden Prime.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> * * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feros is a colony rock, one of many scattered like children’s jacks all over the Attican Traverse. But unlike the colony rock where Shepard grew up, this one seems devoid of people. The eeriness reminds her of Eden Prime. The fear and violence in the air reminds her of the fateful day when the Batarians attacked Mindoir. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They probably barricaded themselves in somewhere,” she tells the rest of her crew. Kaidan nods agreement and holds his gun close, and Tali, the closest thing they have to an expert on the Geth, says something to herself in the Quarian language while following behind Shepard. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard guides her companions through a cordon of patrolling Geth, easily dropping the synthetic soldiers with well-placed shots from her pistol. But she wonders where they’re coming from, and what their goal here is. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She follows her childhood memories through the passageways of the Zhu’s Hope colony, knowing that these human settlements always at least start out with the same basic layout. The command and control hub where the colony’s leadership can be found will be easy to pick out. On Mindoir and Eden Prime, the buildings were pre-fabricated units the size of shipping containers, spread out along a careful map. Here on Feros, the map is similar, but the colonists take advantage of the shelter provided by the naturally formed rock walls and tunnels, adding them to their defenses. It’s probably why they’ve been able to hold out as long as they have against the Geth. But it’s clear that they’re barely holding on. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When Shepard clears the barricades, she finds the colony’s leader, a haggard-looking middle-aged man called Fai Dan. “You have to help us,” he says, and he isn’t pleading or asking, but simply stating a fact. Kaidan shoots Shepard a look, but she responds to Fai Dan’s straightforward listing of facts: they need food, water, power. Without these things, even if they manage to stop the Geth invasion, the colony won’t survive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard knows that her priority is Saren, but she agrees she’ll do what she can to help. Tali is already sharing ideas on how to solve the engineering problems that the water reclamation and power systems will present, and Shepard spent her childhood working with similar machines. Finally, Shepard agrees to leave Tali and Kaidan to make repairs with the residents of Zhu’s Hope, at least for as long as it takes her to clear out the Geth with Liara and Ashley at her side.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The few colonists she talks to seem dead-eyed and hollow-voiced. But they display a fierce loyalty towards Zhu’s Hope, their home, and grow hostile at even the suggestion that they leave it. Shepard remembers people like this from her childhood on Mindoir, men and women who’d die rather than give up the patch of land on which they’d manage to eke out their living, fiercely independent pioneers who would never take the charity of anyone flying down onto their world in an Alliance uniform. But even given those familiar similarities, there is something… off, about the people of Feros.  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard wonders about it, tries to put her finger on why the colony feels so creepy and wrong, but she can’t afford to let it distract her for long. She follows her companions as they climb into the Mako to begin the dangerous drive toward the headquarters of the ExoGeni corporation, who founded the colony. This hub of commerce has been disrupted, out of contact for weeks. Apparently, the Geth have turned the place into a headquarters of their own. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard follows the rudimentary map given to her by Fai Dan, which shows only where the road curves on its way to their destination. The Mako’s scanners detect the hostile presence of the Geth, who swarm the skyway. It’s a simple enough task to clear them out with the heavy weapons mounted on top of the tank as they speed down the open road, simply crushing what few barricades they pass under their wheels. As they get closer to the ExoGeni building, Liara looks up from the radio, where the channels she’s been monitoring now spit fragmented sentences into the garbled static. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They’ve seen us,” she calls, over the volume of the guns and the crunching clicks of the tank’s forward motion. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Who has?” Shepard asks. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t know. The colonists, maybe?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>They know that Zhu’s Hope is only a small outpost, that the majority of Feros’s colonists cluster here, around ExoGeni’s base of operations. But according to Fai Dan, most of those were killed in the initial wave of the Geth invasion. Still, if there were survivors, it makes sense that they would be watching the road. Shepard nods her understanding, but keeps her focus fixed on the road ahead. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They’re headed for the ExoGeni building,” the voice on the radio says. “Those poor bastards, they’re in for quite a surprise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley glances toward Shepard, but says nothing aloud. “Be ready for anything,” Shepard says into the tense silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Commander,” Ashley agrees. Liara gives a determined nod. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>They drive the Mako until they can’t anymore, until the rubble of the collapsing ExoGeni building blocks the path, and the only way forward is a narrow crevice that must be navigated on foot. Shepard is prepared for Geth, but what runs out at her from the shadows are the varren, reminiscent of the wild dogs of Earth. The pack ambushes Shepard and her team from all sides as they enter the large, cavern-like clearing from the narrow opening of rock. Shepard fires into the melee, trusting in her companions’ armor, shields, and biotic barriers to protect them from stray blasts of weaponsfire. Only when the varren are still and silent, and her HUD doesn’t detect any more nearby, does she let her finger off the trigger. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She signals Ashley and Liara to fan out, each of them searching the shadowed corners of the collapsing structure for any more sign of the varren, or the Geth. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard sees movement out of the corner of her eye as they enter another, smaller room. “Wait, don’t shoot!” A woman in the white lab coat of a doctor or scientist stumbles out from behind what looks like a computer console. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard narrows her eyes “Who are you?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“My name is Lizbeth Baynham. When the Geth came, I… I stayed behind to back up data. I’m trapped, now. The Geth are controlling that field...” She waves her hand vaguely in the direction of a deep blue energy field holding strong in the entrance to the facility. “You have to take it down or we’ll all die here!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why are the Geth here?” Liara asks. “What do they want?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard keeps her eyes on the scientist, gauging her reaction to the question. She squirms and shifts uncomfortably, but she does finally open her mouth to answer: “This lab was studying Species 37. It’s a plant.” Shepard nods, already wondering what that has to do with the army of synthetics at their door. “There were theories that Species 37 could… control some of the brain functions of higher-order species, if the spores were ingested or inhaled.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“This plant can control people’s minds?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, we’re not entirely sure. That was the purpose of the study.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Never mind!” Shepard snaps, pushing her way past Lizbeth Beynham as if she can get to her goal using force alone. “Where is the plant? This Species 37?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baynham looks evasive again, but she shoves a plastic keycard into Shepard’s hand and nods toward a set of narrow stairs across the room. “That will get you into the restricted areas. Please, you have to stop the Geth!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard grinds her teeth, but Liara rests a gentle hand on her forearm, that simple action alone is nearly enough to pull her forward. “She’s right,” the Asari says calmly. “Maybe we can stop them before they find what they’re looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard doesn’t like it, but she finally concedes, settling in behind Liara as the Asari takes point. Dr. T’Soni should be able to figure her way around a research lab. Better than Shepard can, anyway. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard figures they have two main goals: stopping the Geth from getting what they’re here for, and crippling the invasion force before it can do any more harm to the Feros colony. Tied into both goals is the need to drop the force field that keeps them trapped within this building. The force field is being powered by the Geth ship itself, so they will need a way to cut through the physical connections creating the loop of power that makes such a thing possible. As they walk, using Lizbeth’s keycard to get through each locked door in succession, Shepard looks for a console that might be able to disrupt the Geth’s control. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But it’s Ashley who sees the true scope of the problem, as they walk through a darkened hallway streaked red with flickering emergency lighting. “Look at that,” Williams says, her voice almost full of awe as she draws Shepard’s attention to the enormous mechanical claws affixing the Geth’s warship to the side of the large tower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no way we can cut through something like that,” Liara says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we won’t have to,” Shepard decides. “There might be some other way to cripple the Geth. Come on. Let’s keep going.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No,” Ashley insists. “If we want to break that force field, this is where we have to cut off the connection.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard begins scanning their surroundings, wondering just how in the hell they’re supposed to be able to manage that. And then a blinking console at the far end of the room, adjacent to the nearby cargo bay, catches her attention. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Those cables,” she says, waving toward the Geth’s network of wires and tubes. “Where do they go?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Ashley studies them for a second, then looks up at Shepard’s console, and lets out a peal of laughter. Shepard smiles in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only takes a minute of carefully studying the command prompts at the console for Shepard to send the cargo bay doors crashing down and cutting through the Geth’s thick cables, ending their ability to funnel power through the ExoGeni complex and dropping the force field from the exit doors. Shepard sends Liara running to collect Lizbeth, and then the four of them pile into the Mako. But Shepard had seen something else in the console. She corners Lizbeth in the Mako as Ashley drives. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You lied to me,” she growls. She shoves Lizbeth hard against the interior wall of the moving tank. “You and your people are using this colony as… as an experiment!” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Lizbeth looks stricken. “I never lied,” she pleads, but she looks ill. Whether that’s because of what she’s done or because she fears Shepard’s reaction is difficult to discern. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You disgust me,” Shepard snarls. She lets go of Lizbeth abruptly, and the woman collapses into her seat. “And you’re going to help me fix the problem.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The colonists will never let you near the Thorian. They’re completely ensnared by it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s bullshit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>must have a way to get past them.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Lizbeth shakes her head, but Shepard doesn’t trust her. Who’s to say she isn’t still hiding something?  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“There is something,” she finally says quietly, after several minutes of uncomfortable silence. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Start talking,” Shepard demands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lizbeth fishes around in the messenger bag she carries slung over her shoulder, and pulls out a handful of vials. “Nerve gas,” she tells the soldier. “Non-lethal. You can neutralize the hostile colonists without killing them.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard takes the vials in her hand, and nods her understanding, and her thanks. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Embrace Eternity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER EIGHT: EMBRACE ETERNITY</b>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The colony of Zhu’s Hope is swarming with mutants: human-like monsters under the control of the Thorian. Shepard mows them down with her assault rifle as Ashley and Liara cover her advance. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shepard!” yells a familiar voice: Kaidan. Shepard looks over to see Alenko waving her toward a computer console set up in front of a large crane. She frowns, but runs over to him, trusting Ashley and Liara to handle the rest of the creepers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The colonists, scattered about, take potshots at Shepard and her crew as they get close, but it’s when she joins Kaidan at the crane controls that they make their first real move, surrounding the two of them with guns raised. Shepard throws out one of the gas grenades she and Lizbeth had rigged up in the Mako. Her helmet keeps her protected, and she tosses a gas mask to Kaidan, one she’d grabbed from the Mako’s emergency equipment. He pulls it snugly over his nose and mouth as the colonists caught in the gas’s expanding cloud fall, twitching and coughing, to the ground. They rake at their eyes, from which tears are streaming, but they are no longer a threat and at least Shepard didn’t have to kill them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kaidan presses a sequence of keys at the computer, throwing the crane into motion. At his command, the machine removes a chunk of solid wall, revealing a deep pit underneath. Shepard looks down. Lizbeth had said that the Thorian was under the colony. It looks like that’s where she needs to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumps down into what appears to be a sewer system. She clicks on her helmet lamp and picks her way carefully through the darkness, grateful to have Kaidan, Liara, and Ashley at her back. She isn’t sure what she’s expecting, but the monstrosity she stumbles upon, in the middle of a large, circular chamber built of crumbling concrete, certainly isn’t it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“When she said plant, I thought…” she whispers, her fingers wrapped tightly around her gun. How the hell is she supposed to destroy </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Thorian towers above all of them. Leafy tentacles whip out toward them at random intervals, and sticky sap the color of blood sluices down the side of the enormous plant, collecting in thick puddles on the floor. And Shepard can feel the thing reaching out, brushing against her mind, attempting to plant itself there, sharp like thorns. She winces, and looks around at her crew. They are obviously feeling the same thing. Kaidan and Liara push back with their biotics, and Shepard can see the Thorian recoiling from those mental blasts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard aims for the closest thing to a head she can find on the plant-monster, but the Thorian doesn’t even seem to notice her gunshots. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shepard!” Liara calls. The commander turns toward the Asari. Liara nods at a tangled, knotted growth spiraling around a narrow access stairway a few yards away. “It’s weak there.” Shepard doesn’t ask how Liara knows that. She just lets loose a burst of gunfire and watches the Thorian flail in pain. More of the blood-sap oozes out from the wound Shepard has just created. She grins fiercely. “There are more of them!” Liara yells, from the shadowed corner at the bottom of the stairs where she and Ashley are fighting off what seems like a never-ending surge of creepers. “The neural nodes! You have to find them!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods her understanding and charges up the stairs. Kaidan follows her, laying down covering fire against wave after wave of the creepers the Thorian sends out to defend itself. Shepard targets the nodes while he keeps them occupied. Her job isn’t difficult, just dangerous. The creepers are driven into a frenzy as she gets closer and closer to killing the Thorian. When it finally dies, she takes down a few of the last remaining creepers with clean headshots. Kaidan, Ashley, and Liara mop up the rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s nearly made it to the hatch at the top of the stairway that will bring her back to the Zhu’s Hope colony when a voice yells out “Stop!” Shepard turns to see a purple-skinned Asari running up the staircase. She aims her gun at the stranger, but her finger is not yet on the trigger. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Who are you? Where did you come from?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I speak - I </span>
  <em>
    <span>spoke</span>
  </em>
  <span> - for the Thorian. Now that it is dead, I have… come back to myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I know I can trust you?” The Asari stares at her, unblinking. “The Thorian can </span>
  <em>
    <span>control minds</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Shepard continues. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The Thorian can. And Saren can. You risk walking into a trap, Commander Shepard. Saren knows you follow in his footsteps.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He came here for something. I need to know what it is.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He came here for the Thorian, didn’t he?” Kaidan asks, from behind her. She turns to look at him, but turns back to the Asari as she gently corrects him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He came for the Cipher.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The Cipher,” Shepard repeats. “What the hell is that?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I can give it to you, as I gave it to Saren.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The Asari crosses the few steps it takes to reach Commander Shepard and puts a hand on her forehead. The human woman nearly shakes her off, but instead she stands there, breathing shakily and trying to accept… whatever is about to happen. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Close your eyes, Commander,” the Asari instructs. “Relax. Feel the connections between us. All life in the galaxy is connected…” She continues her meditative comments, and Shepard feels her breathing calm. She can feel the Asari’s presence in her mind, but it does not feel like an unwelcome intrusion, as she might expect. “Embrace eternity!” Shepard hears the Asari say, and then she is assaulted by fireworks of pain, blinding behind her eyelids, and incomprehensible sound washes over her, and visions flash through her mind, too fast and fragmented to follow. It reminds her of the beacon on Eden Prime, though at least she manages to stay conscious this time, with the Asari keeping her both physically and mentally tethered. She clenches her teeth and her breathing comes in shallow gasps, and when the visions fade to blackness, her head is still spinning. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Commander?” Kaidan asks nervously. “Are you alright?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard opens her eyes. She lets go of the Asari, but she still feels dizzy and nauseated. “I’ll be fine,” she tells Alenko. He hands her a canteen full of water anyway, and she drinks it slowly, gratefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you… see anything?” he asks cautiously. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Everything,” Shepard replies, before she can stop herself. “But I don’t… none of it makes any sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Cipher was designed for a Prothean mind,” the Asari reminds them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I know,” Shepard replies, but the truth is she is exhausted and irritable. “Come on,” she snaps. “Let’s get back to the ship.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan stays close as they pass through the Zhu’s Hope colony, where the citizens are just starting to recover from the effects of the nerve gas grenades Shepard had hit them with. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shepard,” says Arcelia Silva Martinez, the woman whose hatred of the Alliance had dripped into every word when she spoke with Shepard at Fai Dan’s side earlier, “I… understand, what you were trying to do. And thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” Shepard says softly. Tali turns away from the water recycler she’d been working on, and joins up with the rest of the crew heading back to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how well they will fare without ExoGeni’s continued funding…” she says nervously. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sure they’re grateful for your help, Tali,” Shepard tries to comfort the Quarian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And at least now they’re not being experimented on,” Kaidan adds. “They’ll make a go of it. I bet they’ll surprise us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. “Humans survive,” she reminds them all. “It’s kind of our thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could help you,” Liara says, as Shepard sits atop a bed in Doctor Chakwas’s medbay. She turns toward the Asari, confusion written on her features.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With what?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The Cipher. I could… I’m an expert on the Protheans. Maybe I could make some sense of it all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean you want to dig around in my mind,” Shepard says flatly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to intrude. I only wish to help, Shepard.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I… I know. And I need your help. If we can’t find Saren, if we can’t stop him…” She trails off, certain that Liara can read her distress. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Relax,” Liara commands, and Shepard finds herself doing exactly that. Liara takes the commander’s hands in her own, and takes slow, deep breaths until Shepard mimics her behavior. The two women’s eyes fall closed. Shepard thinks she hears the words “embrace eternity,” the same words the other Asari woman had spoken, like a magic spell, or a prayer. And then the overwhelming tide of images and sensory input washes over her. This time, though, she can feel Liara’s presence, sure and steady, and where her mental handprints push, the images grow clearer. They begin to sort themselves into a logical order. Shepard begins to understand pieces of what the Protheans had experienced. And what she understands burrows its way into her core, an icy fist of terror squeezed tight around her heart. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Her eyes fly open suddenly, and Liara’s hands slip out of hers. The Asari stumbles backward, dizzy and dazed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I never imagined…” Liara murmurs. “All my years of research, and I didn’t have a clue.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But what we saw won’t help us find Saren, will it?” Shepard presses. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No,” says Liara sadly. “No, I suppose it won’t.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard’s heart sinks. All of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in her head, and they’re no closer now than they were when they started. Oh well. She still has the lead the Council gave her: Virmire. That’s where they have to go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s headed toward the CIC to give the order to set course when Kaidan stops her. She whirls around, impatient and angry. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” she snaps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alenko holds up his hands in a gesture of defense, or an offering of peace, she isn’t sure, but she lets out a slow breath and almost apologizes. At least her face softens. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I just wanted to make sure you’re… you know… okay. I thought you might need someone to talk to, after everything that went down on Feros.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Because it was a human colony, you mean? All those people enslaved by the Thorian…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah,” Kaidan agrees. “I just.. I know how things that happened when you were a kid can stick with you. Haunt you, you know?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You think I’m haunted by what happened on Mindoir?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Aren’t you? I mean…” he sighs heavily, and scratches at his eyebrow. He doesn’t look at her, except out of the corner of his eye. “I told you a little bit about Vyrrnus, before. I didn’t tell you… one day, in training… there was this girl. Rahna. She reached out for a glass of water instead of pulling it biotically, and Vyrrnus broke her arm. I could see the shards of white bone poking out from her skin and I just… snapped. Let go with everything I had. Hit Vyrrnus with a biotic blow that killed him instantly. And I… I was seventeen years old.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sounds like Vyrrnus had it coming.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t, I just… it’s not like I wish things had turned out differently. I just wonder, sometimes. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m here. If you ever feel like talking.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I know, Kaidan. And thanks.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She reaches out to squeeze his hand, and his palm is warm and callused under her skin. He squeezes back, and then she slips out of his grasp and heads up to the CIC. She peeks into the cockpit quickly to listen to Joker whine about plant zombies before he asks her where they’re headed next. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh good,” he says, when she tells him. “I hear Virmire’s got nice beaches.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just be ready for anything,” she tells him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Joker spins around in his chair. “Always am, Commander,” he sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Kaidan,” Shepard whispers. She takes a step into the darkened cargo hold, where the lieutenant is curled up against one of the large, hardened plastic boxes that holds their equipment. He looks up, and their eyes lock for a brief moment. “Is it alright if I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan nods, then winces and groans. His breathing is ragged, and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. It's then that Shepard sees the puddle of vomit next to him. She grabs a rag from a nearby toolkit and wipes it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Kaidan whispers. Shepard nods. She bites her tongue, knowing that Kaidan probably isn't up for much of a conversation. Instead, she presses her hands to his temples and begins to move her fingers in slow circles, gently massaging his head.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He moans again, but he relaxes, and Shepard allows herself to smile. “That's it,” she says, keeping her voice pitched low, soft and soothing. “Easy does it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan lets his eyes drift closed, and his breathing steadies under Shepard's healing touch. Time passes – it feels like it's been hours but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. Shepard runs her fingers down the side of his face, her thumb tracing his hairline. She cradles his jaw, and then presses her lips to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan returns the kiss, and though his breath still smells of vomit, Shepard doesn't break away. He opens his eyes to look into hers, and Shepard slowly pulls away, though she still sits just in front of him, settled back on her heels, watching him with a critical eye. “How are you feeling?” she asks carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan draws in a deep breath and tries to take stock. “Better, now,” he says truthfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. “Doctor Chakwas told me you get migraines,” she says softly. “This one was bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Kaidan closes his eyes again and leans his head back against the cargo crate. “It's better down here,” he says, before she can ask him what he's doing in the cargo hold. “Dark and quiet. I'll have to... ride it out. Might be hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll stay with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan starts to shake his head, then stops with a groan. He holds the palm of his hand to his forehead and takes a careful breath. “You don't have to,” he rasps. “I'm sure you have a lot to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard shakes her head. “Joker will call me if anything important comes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tucks herself in next to him, and Kaidan surprises himself by wrapping his arm around her shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he murmurs, as he rests his chin atop her head. “For being here. No one’s ever stayed with me before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard thinks about how lonely that must feel. Something twinges in her heart. “You’re welcome,” she says softly. “I’m glad to stay.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Virmire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER NINE: VIRMIRE</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard watches the scanners in the CIC and listens to the reports as they pile in from her crew. “Virmire is swarming with Geth, Commander,” a young woman’s voice crackles over the comm. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“And there’s AA guns!” someone else calls. “The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> can’t get to the LZ.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m on it,” Shepard promises, and she suits up and joins Ashley, Kaidan, and Wrex in the Mako, which will get in under the fire of the AA guns so that hopefully the four of them can disable the turrets and allow the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> to land. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The mission isn’t complicated. Shepard ducks behind cover and squeezes the trigger of her Avenger, sending quick blasts of gunfire into the synthetic bodies of the Geth that seem to be everywhere. Eventually, they find their way to the AA tower. Shepard runs up the tightly spiraling staircase to reach the console that controls the large gun at the top of the tower. She’s not a tech expert like Kaidan, but some of her incredibly quick crash course in How To Be A Spectre back on the Citadel had taught her the basics of slicing through a computer system. This one, thankfully, is not that hard to bypass. Saren must not have been expecting infiltrators in his compound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard finishes the hack, and the gun blasts fall silent. Joker’s voice crackles in over her radio: “Nice work, Commander. I’ll meet you at the LZ.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard responds in the affirmative and then meets up with the rest of her shore party at the bottom of the tower. “Heads up,” she warns them. “We don’t know if the Salarians managed to clear out the Geth.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Her team has guns ready, and Wrex snarls and grunts, a predator seeking his prey. Shepard leads the way, and though there are a few Geth between their squad and the Salarian camp, it is only a token resistance, easily taken down. They stand on the beach wiping sweat from their eyes as one of the Salarians strides out of a large tent and comes to meet them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Commander Shepard. I am Captain Kirahe. Did you bring the reinforcements we requested?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hope in his tone startles Shepard into momentary silence. Behind her, she hears Kaidan say, “We </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>your reinforcements.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What? No. No, that cannot be right.” Kirahe’s large eyes bore into Shepard’s, urging her to tell him something different. She shakes her head. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Your transmission was garbled. The Council sent us to investigate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I lost half my men investigating this place!” He is clearly frustrated, which Shepard understands, but it’s not like it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you find?” she asks, as gently as she is able. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Saren’s base of operations. He is using the labs here to breed a Krogan army.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard blinks. Behind her, Wrex rumbles out the question that is on everyone’s mind: “How is that possible?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard and Kirahe both watch as a wide grin splits Wrex’s face. A shadow darkens Kirahe’s features. “We must correct Saren’s mistake,” he demands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My </span>
  <em>
    <span>people</span>
  </em>
  <span> are not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mistake</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wrex growls, taking a threatening step toward the Salarian. Shepard steps in between them, pushing Wrex backward a half step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he going to be a problem?” Kirahe asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Shepard promises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrex says nothing, just turns around and stalks away. Kirahe mutters something under his breath that Shepard is probably glad she didn’t catch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll talk to him,” she says, and she takes Kirahe’s nod as permission and dismissal. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard walks along the edge of the ocean. The water laps at her boots as she finds Wrex standing further down the beach, out of range of the Salarians in the camp, but not so far out that he risks running into a patrol of Geth. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He snarls when he sees her, but she holds up a hand in a gesture of peace. “Wrex…” she tries to start, but he takes a step forward toward her and it’s the first time she’s truly realized how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>bigger</span>
  </em>
  <span> the Krogan is. He’s probably twice her mass, at least. And she has a gun, but it isn’t drawn. Wrex is supposed to be on her team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me out here, Shepard,” he growls. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Saren </span>
  </em>
  <span>found a cure for my people, and you want to kill them. So which side am I supposed to be on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wants to tell him that she doesn’t want to kill his people. She doesn’t hate or fear the Krogan the way the rest of the galaxy seems to. Instead, she lets her anger flare up as she locks eyes with him. “Don’t be stupid!” she snaps. “Saren doesn’t care about your people! He’ll dispose of them as soon as they’ve served their purpose. They aren’t even real Krogan! They were grown in a lab!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrex’s eyes grow wider as she continues her tirade, but she can see the moment when he calms down. He scratches the back of his neck and looks away from her for a brief moment, before turning back. Their eyes meet once again. Wrex’s are black and bottomless. “You’re right,” the Krogan admits. “I....” he pauses briefly, as if uncertain of his words. But then he opens his mouth again. “Thank you, Shepard.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” she replies. “I want you on my side.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In reply, Wrex settles his large gun into a two-handled grip and nods toward Kaidan and Ashley, standing near Captain Kirahe further up the beach. “Let’s go kick some ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Salarian task force will serve as a distraction, luring Saren’s forces into paying attention to them so that Shepard and her small strike team can sneak into their facility to plant a bomb rigged from the Salarians’ drive core. It’s an incredibly risky plan, bordering on suicidal, but it looks like the only chance they have to cripple Saren before his Krogan army overruns the galaxy. Shepard doesn’t like it, but maybe that’s what being a Spectre </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>: putting yourself in harm’s way to protect the galaxy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sends Williams with the Salarians to coordinate the two teams, and takes Kaidan with her to arm the bomb. Wrex insists on coming along, because this involves the Krogan, and Shepard can’t send him away, and wouldn’t want to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their shadow team makes its way to Saren’s lab, listening to Ashley’s disheartening situation reports the entire way. Shepard has to find a way to take the heat off of the Salarian special forces, or they won’t survive long enough for the bomb to be set up. She finds a console and after a few moments of carefully studying the code in front of her, she figures out how to scramble the Geth’s targeting computers, buying the Salarians some more time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they make it into the lab building, Shepard can’t worry about Ashley or the Salarians. Her full concentration rests on keeping herself and Kaidan and Wrex alive. The most disconcerting thing they encounter is the captured Salarians Kirahe had lost, now indoctrinated to Saren’s will and throwing themselves mindlessly at Shepard and her team, with murder in their eyes. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard takes them out with clean headshots, as quickly and painlessly as she can. The next-worst thing they find are the lab-grown Krogans. Shepard expects Wrex to have trouble killing them, but he seems to have taken her words on the beach to heart, and he knows that they have no qualms about trying to kill him. He is a warrior, just like Shepard, and Kaidan, also a career soldier, uses his biotic talents to take the Krogan fighters by surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they make it into the heart of Saren’s sanctum, they find what’s been keeping him here. A beacon, like the one on Eden Prime, glows a sickly green in the dim light. Shepard reaches out, instinctively. She should know better. As soon as her fingers skim the edges of the beacon, she is paralyzed by a rush of images and input, nonsensical screaming in her mind, sensations of pain so strong that she can barely breathe. When the images fade away and the pain dulls to a manageable level, she finds that she is sitting on her ass, with Kaidan crouching over her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Commander?” he asks, as she struggles to focus on his face. “Are you with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She struggles to get to her feet, but she manages. She takes a steadying breath, and nods. “I’m fine,” she says. It’s a lie, but it’s a necessary lie. They’re behind enemy lines, she hardly has the time to be sidelined by flashing pictures or to complain about a headache.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But something else flickers into the air before her, an image that seems familiar to the Prothean Cipher in her head. She’s seen Saren’s flagship before, but Sovereign announces its presence in a new way now, and Shepard knows: she isn’t looking at a ship, she’s looking at something alive. The Reapers are the pinnacle of synthetic life, the gods of the Geth, and the monstrous creature in front of her now is pulsing with malevolence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are inevitable,” Sovereign intones. “We are the instrument of your destruction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It goes on to explain the cycle of the Reapers’ mass destruction, that at the apex of every organic civilization, the Reapers swoop in to annihilate the species. It happened to the Protheans 50,000 years ago, but they were not the first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard’s heart pounds in her chest as she attempts to fight Sovereign’s influence on her mind. But the holographic image of the lone Reaper snaps out suddenly, and she can feel his presence retreating, turning toward a new target. Shepard doesn’t spare the effort it would take to question her good fortune. She grabs Kaidan and Wrex and runs back through the halls of the base, toward the half-flooded maintenance tunnels that lead them back out to the beach.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>After they make their way through the overwhelming number of enemies before them (there are Geth in addition to the Krogan and Salarians), they find that their troubles are not yet over. There is one more AA gun preventing the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> from dropping off the bomb that they will rig to take out the entire facility. Shepard orders Kaidan and Wrex to cover her while she disables the gun. With a sigh of relief, she watches the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>swoop in low, lowering her boarding ramp so that the team of engineers in charge of the bomb can bring it in to the position that Shepard’s team has marked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan runs over to take possession of the bomb, as Ashley’s voice crackles over the radio, reporting in chopped and desperate words that her position is nearly overrun with Geth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go help her, Commander,” Kaidan pleads. “It’ll take me a few minutes to set the charges.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard orders Wrex to watch Alenko’s back, and then she sprints for the AA tower where Ashley and her squad are trapped. She’s nearly reached Williams’s position when Joker’s voice crackles over the comm: “The Geth are sending in reinforcements! That ship… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sovereign</span>
  </em>
  <span>… it just pulled a maneuver that would’ve torn any of our ships in half!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard doesn’t even have to look up to recognize the shadow that falls over her. Saren’s flagship looms directly above her, and its presence crushes against her mind. It takes everything she has in her to shake off the sense of doom, the weight of inevitability. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you!” she snaps at the Reaper. “I won’t be your slave!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard, I’m setting the bomb!” Kaidan calls out on the comm. The words stop Shepard in her tracks. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Alenko?!” she snarls. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m making sure we complete the mission,” he replies, in a tone that says it’s not up for discussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go get Alenko,” Ashley insists, even as Shepard can hear the firefight going on behind her. Her stomach twists into a painful knot. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hold the line, Ashley,” she orders sternly. “I’m coming to get you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can hear Williams sigh, and then, remarkably calmly, the gunnery chief says “I think we both know that’s not going to happen, Commander.” The radio line goes dead, purposely cut, Shepard is sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She runs back to the beach, and barely manages to shoot the Geth off Kaidan’s position. She grabs him out from under his rigged explosive and practically throws him onto the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, which streaks into the sky just ahead of the nuclear explosion. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Grounded</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER TEN: GROUNDED</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere in the comm room is subdued. Shepard’s crew sits in their familiar circle, ready for a mission briefing, but the uncomfortable silence hangs heavy in the air and Ashley’s empty chair stares accusingly at Shepard as she struggles to figure out what to say. They lost </span>
  <em>
    <span>so many </span>
  </em>
  <span>on Virmire. Ashley, yes, but also Captain Kirahe and almost the entirety of his men in special forces. And she isn’t even sure if they accomplished anything of use. Sure, they destroyed Saren’s manufactured army, but that won’t stop him from getting to the Conduit and it won’t stop Sovereign. She’s barely finished laying out her report, first to her own crew and then to the Citadel Council, when Joker patches through a message from Ambassador Udina, recalling her to the Citadel. Shepard grinds her teeth. They don’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>time </span>
  </em>
  <span>for this. But she is still a soldier, and she follows the chain of command. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard?” Liara stops her on her way to the head, and Shepard almost flinches at the softness of the woman’s voice. She doesn’t want to be comforted. She wants to be alone to drown in her regret, at least until they make it to the Citadel and she has to put on her game face again. But she schools her features and takes a quick breath before she turns around to meet the Asari’s concerned expression. “The beacon you found on Virmire… it may fill in some of the missing pieces from the beacon on Eden Prime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to mess with my brain again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only with your permission. I just thought…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I know. And you’re right. Saren had that beacon for a reason, and it might be the only clue we have to where he’s going next.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liara nods slowly. She reaches out to take Shepard’s hands, and leans forward so that their foreheads are touching. “Close your eyes, Commander,” she whispers. Shepard takes a deep breath and does as she is told. “Embrace eternity!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard gasps as she feels Liara’s presence in her head. Any state of relaxation she might have entered is shattered now. Images flash painfully in her head, and she can feel Liara’s hands, still squeezing hers tight. When she opens her eyes again, Liara has taken a step back and is staring at her with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are… remarkably strong-willed,” she says, her voice tinged with quiet awe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you see anything? Anything useful?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Conduit is on Ilos. That is where Saren will go.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What? How do you know that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I recognized some of the landmarks from my research. Trust me, Shepard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Ilos is only accessible via the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems. Going out there risks starting a war. But Saren is probably counting on that fact to shield him. “Thanks, Liara.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course. Let me know what else I can do to help. You know I will always have your back.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Liara had seen anything of Shepard’s tangled emotions in the wake of Ashley’s death, at least she had the grace not to say anything. Shepard visits the head and then climbs into a sleeping pod, where she struggles to ignore her dreams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard, you look like hell,” Kaidan says, appraising her with his piercing brown eyes. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m fine,” she lies. The job’s not over. She’ll have time to fall apart later. Kaidan seems to sense this, and something shifts in his demeanor. He stands up a little straighter, and looks her in the eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, ma’am,” he says crisply. Shepard nods. She’s teased him before about being so overly formal, but these are the roles they need to play, for now. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kaidan hovers over her as the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> docks at the Citadel, and he follows her to the Presidium, where she’ll need to give her report to the Council. Ambassador Udina waits for her there. He takes a careful look at Lieutenant Alenko, but does not send him away. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard stands before the Council, feeling small as they loom above her, which she is absolutely certain is intentional. Still, she’s sick of them treating her like a child. And now that she’s found Saren, knows his plans, they want to cut her out of the equation completely. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’ll take over from here,” says the Turian councilman. Smug bastard. Shepard wants to wipe the smirk right off his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Udina is even worse. He steps in front of Shepard, keeping his eyes on the Council as he reminds her “Spectres work for the Council, Shepard. Your work thus far has been impressive, but that work is finished now. Until further notice, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> is grounded.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t do that!” Kaidan cries, as Shepard just narrows her eyes and growls, “Nobody stabs me in the back, Udina.” She lets the threat hang heavy in the air. And then she stalks out of the council chamber, without waiting for them to dismiss her. Like cutting their comm chats on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it floods her with a burst of immature satisfaction. That contentment never lasts, though, and it lasts for even less time than usual now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks back at Kaidan, who follows her to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, stuck in its hangar. “There has to be something we can do, doesn’t there? Some way we can appeal or-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard shakes her head. She throws her gear into her locker and then slams it shut before sinking to the floor in front of it. She tilts her head back to look up at Alenko. “You heard them in there just as well as I did, Kaidan. They’re taking over the mission.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t just give up. What if we’re the only ones who can stop Saren? The Council doesn’t even believe what you told them about the Reapers!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m open to ideas,” she snaps, and Kaidan shuts his mouth. He shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t trying to question you, Commander, I just… I want you to know I’m on your side.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard gets to her feet and puts her hands on Kaidan’s shoulders, gently coaxing him so that he’s the one pushed up against the lockers while her lips press against his. He moans and shifts, settling his hands on her hips and then kissing her back, slow and deep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, Kaidan,” Shepard whines, once he’s pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Commander?” Joker’s voice in cuts in via the overhead speakers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you spying on us?!” Shepard asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, ma’am. I just wanted to pass along a message from Captain Anderson. He wants you to meet him at Flux. That club in the Wards.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard frowns. That’s an odd place for a meeting. A quick glance at Alenko proves he thinks so too. But she trusts Anderson. “I’m on it,” she tells Joker, and she heads for the airlock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson is waiting for her at a table in the corner of the bar, nursing a beer. He pushes one toward her as she sits down. At her nod, Kaidan pulls a chair from a nearby table and joins them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had to have known what was going to happen!” Shepard accuses. “Why didn’t you warn me?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson sighs heavily. “I tried to, Shepard, but Udina wouldn’t let me get a message out before you docked.” He takes a long sip of his drink, watching her from above the rim of his glass the entire while. When he finally sets the glass down, he says, “I’ve got a way to bypass the lockdown. I’ve just got to get up to Citadel Control.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s a restricted area with armed guards,” Kaidan points out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave that to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to steal the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Shepard asks. “That’s mutiny. Treason. What happens to my crew? What happens to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>is yours, Shepard, and your crew would follow you to the ends of the galaxy,” Anderson says. He deliberately avoids her question about what will happen to him. He’ll handle it, whatever it is. That isn’t for her to worry about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She studies his face, looking for a hint of an answer anyway, but then she sighs. “If I don’t stop Saren, the Reapers will slaughter everyone. Humans, Turians, Asari… everyone.” Anderson nods agreement. “I have to stop it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just be sure you’re ready on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> when those controls get unlocked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods. She says nothing else to Anderson as she leaves him behind in the bar, but she wants to. There are so many things that she wants to say. Kaidan reaches out and squeezes her hand as they tumble out into the Wards and begin the long walk to the docking bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She takes in a shaky breath. “I just wanted…” she starts, but she stops because she can’t quite figure out how to word it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Kaidan says anyway. “Anderson knows, too. Don’t worry, Shepard. He knows what he’s doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Shepard sighs. “You’re right.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She waits for the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s airlock to slide open to admit them, and as soon as the decontamination process is complete, she practically runs up to the bridge to wait with Joker for the board to go green, allowing them to flee the Citadel and make the jump to Ilos via the nearby Mass Relay. But once they make it to the Pangaea Expanse, it’ll still take upwards of a full day to make it into Ilos’s orbit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan finds her in the captain’s quarters once the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span> has switched over to the night cycle. “Commander-” he starts, but Shepard is already shaking her head, a bright smile on her face as she beckons him closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t we a little past titles?” she asks him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan swallows hard. “We’re a little past a lot of things,” he admits. “But Ana, I just wanted to tell you before… in case anything happens… I think about losing you and I can’t stand it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Shepard whispers, and Kaidan knows she must be thinking about Virmire. She keeps telling him that it wasn’t his fault, but if he hadn’t let </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>happen… their feelings were never supposed to compromise the mission, let alone be the reason that one of their crew is dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kaidan, stay,” Ana begs, as she turns toward the bed. Because even though </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>should never have happened, she can’t bear the thought of spending the night alone, without him. “Bunk with me tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods slowly. As if he could say no to an invitation like that. He crawls onto the bed with her, and her hands slide up under his shirt, tracing the muscles of his abdomen. He lets his hands settle over her hips, and tilts his head so that he can kiss her. Shepard hooks her legs around his and pushes him flat onto the mattress. She strips off first his shirt and then her own, leaving her in a dark grey sports bra that leaves little to the imagination. He nibbles at the strap, pulling it down her arm with his teeth, until Ana pushes him away and pulls the bra over her head before tossing it toward the foot of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan takes her breast in his hand, and strokes her nipple until it hardens under his touch. Shepard whines as his other hand works open the button of her pants. Her underwear is already damp, and he can feel her slickness once he removes the garment. Ana pushes Kaidan’s pants down until they’re clumped up around his ankles and he kicks them off. He removes his own boxers, and Shepard takes his hardened length in her hand. She circles his tip with her thumb, and then takes him into her mouth, sucking and stroking with her tongue until Kaidan is whimpering with every move she makes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ana,” he gasps. “Please, I…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She pets his head with her hand, threading her fingers through his hair, urging him to calm. When he finally stills beneath her, she removes her mouth from his throbbing member, scraping her teeth along his length as she does so. She guides him into her, and rolls over so that he is on top of her. She lifts her hips to meet his thrusts, and soon it is her breaths that come in stuttering gasps. She climaxes with a sensation like a wave crashing over her, and she feels Kaidan withdraw. He gets up and goes to the head to clean up before crawling back into the bed with her. <br/><br/></span>
  <span>She brushes her lips against his, and falls asleep wrapped in the safety of his arms. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Conduit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER ELEVEN: CONDUIT</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Ilos is a hot and humid world. The jungle plants hang low, brushing against the back of Shepard’s neck as she walks, and her boots sink into the spongy moss and mud that proliferate along the pathways and ruins that are somehow supposed to lead her to the Conduit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Geth are swarming the entire landing zone. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>has returned to low orbit, ready to swoop down to save Shepard and her team if they are called on, but she wants them out of the Geth’s range of fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large building looms just behind the Mako. Shepard wonders if it’s some sort of temple. The doors are locked, and far too large and heavy to be able to wedge open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe that’s where the Conduit is,” Kaidan points out. Shepard nods, because it makes the most sense. Such an important object would be kept protected, not left alone out in the wild jungles. “If Saren and his Geth are here, they must have found another way in.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard nods again. He’s right. She shoots down another one of the Geth Destroyers with her long-range sniper rifle, and covers Wrex as he wades into the fight. Kaidan begins targeting the Geth with his biotics, pulling a trio of them up into the air and toward him. Shepard picks them off one by one with her pistol. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Geth have cleared a path through the jungle, a narrow, winding trail that nevertheless leads Shepard and her companions to their destination: a small security station that stands outside of the larger building behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they step into the room, something crackles to life. Shepard keeps her hand on her gun, but she is met not by Geth, but by a flickering image crafted of red light. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It looks like some kind of VI program,” Kaidan observes. Shepard nods, and strains to listen. “It must be speaking the Prothean language. I can’t understand it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I can,” Shepard whispers. She tries not to wonder at how such a thing is possible and instead focuses on the task at hand. She can make out only a few words through data that has been corroded by the passage of tens of thousands of years. “It said something about the Conduit,” she tells Kaidan and Wrex. “Something about the archives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She suddenly understands that that is what the building behind her houses - it is not a temple, but a library. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She understands also that the door that had been held shut before them will now open. She isn’t sure how she knows this, but she is certain of it, knows it the same way that she knows her own name. She leads Kaidan and Wrex back to the Mako, and the doors iris open, allowing entrance for their all-terrain vehicle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan drives the Mako, pushing it nearly to top speed as they hurtle down the flat road that seems purpose-built just for them. The underground passageway is devoid of Geth, or of any other signs of life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brakes squeal as Kaidan pulls the Mako to a sudden stop as a force field springs to life in front of them. Wrex aims the Mako’s guns at the barrier, but no matter how forcefully or how often he shoots, the force field holds without so much as a flicker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could spend all day shooting at that without making a dent,” Wrex growls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It must have come from somewhere,” Shepard says. She climbs out of the Mako and begins exploring the cavernous tunnel. She can hear Kaidan’s footsteps behind her a moment later. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Look over here,” he calls, after a moment. Shepard catches up with him at a well-hidden doorway hidden in the tunnel wall. The access panel next to it flashes green, and the door slides open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It could be a trap,” she murmurs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t seem like the Geth’s style though, does it?” Kaidan asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard shrugs, and steps in through the open doorway, gun drawn. The room they find themselves in is little bigger than a closet, and there is no sign of life except for a flickering red holographic image - another badly distorted VI program. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not like the other who was here recently,” says the VI. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other?” Shepard repeats. “You mean Saren?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not have the taint of indoctrination upon you. Yet you were… expected.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I am called Vigil. I exist to stop the cycle. I have stood for 50,000 years, watching as this facility grew dark and desolate. I exist to protect the Conduit.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The Conduit. It’s really here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. The Conduit serves as a direct link to the Citadel. The Citadel itself is a Mass Relay, linked to dark space. If the Relay is activated, the Reapers will pour in to begin their invasion anew. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>must stop the cycle.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“How?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You must get to the Citadel before Sovereign is allowed to take control of its functions and allow the Reapers in. Go. All life in the galaxy depends on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that the VI’s holographic presence snaps out. Shepard runs to the Mako, with Kaidan and Wrex following close on her heels. This time, she’s the one who jumps into the driver’s seat. She pays attention to only speed, pressing her foot down onto the accelerator pedal until it’s nearly flat against the floor. She doesn’t worry about the Geth encircling them, although she can hear the gun sputtering as Wrex takes potshots against them. All that matters is getting to the miniaturized Mass Relay at the end of the long driveway. It spins lazily, as if waiting for them. Shepard coaxes the Mako into picking up another burst of speed, and she falls back against her seat as the g-forces press backward against her, making it hard to breathe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she opens her eyes, the Mako has skidded onto its side, and smoke is filling the passenger compartment. She fumbles for the lock on the door and barely manages to push it open at an awkward angle. She half crawls and half falls out of the vehicle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Citadel’s Avina VI terminal is active, but glitching. It flickers in and out of Shepard’s vision, sputtering out half-heard words of warning. Shepard gets to her feet and looks around, trying to get her bearings. Kaidan and Wrex climb out of the Mako after her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re in the Presidium, at the base of the large fountain that almost serves as an artificial lake. The Council’s meeting chambers are almost directly above them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Council’s control room is where Saren will be, looking to hand the Citadel over to Sovereign. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Shepard says. She doesn’t rely on the elevator, but instead suits up for zero-g and uses the maintenance shafts. The synthetic Geth are waiting for her, but Kaidan’s biotic attacks make short work of them. Still, every second they spend tied up in battle brings Saren one second closer to his goal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Council’s meeting room is ceremonial, ornamental. The large space is covered by a clear dome, the same heavily reinforced glass that starship viewports are made of. But that doesn’t stop Shepard from fearing that it will shatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saren swoops down on the same hoverboard he’d used to escape the blast zone on Virmire, the Turian equivalent of a lazy smile on his face. “I’ve been expecting you, Shepard. Waiting for you, even.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s no secret that I’ve been chasing you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You cannot hope to stop the Reapers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as he taunts her, Shepard can’t help but notice that Saren is… different. Cybernetic parts glow an electronic blue where they are grafted to his flesh. Wires trail down his neck, twitching when he moves. Saren catches her looking, and he barks out a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sovereign has… improved me,” he declares proudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard snarls, and tracks the jerky movements of Saren’s hoverboard with the barrel of her gun. “I’d rather die than live as a slave!” She lets off a shot from her heavy pistol, but Saren easily darts out of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are letting emotion control you rather than making a logical choice. It is a flaw of organic species.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Fuck you!” Shepard cries, and this time she takes more careful aim and manages to hit Saren, though with his armor and cybernetic upgrades, he barely seems to feel it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrex charges forward to keep the rogue Spectre’s attention off of Shepard, so that she can duck into cover at range, and take down Saren with a clean headshot. His body falls off of the hoverboard and lands a couple dozen feet below them, on the smooth metal decking next to the Presidium’s fountain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make sure he’s dead,” Shepard orders Wrex and Kaidan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the quiet aftermath of the fight, Joker’s voice crackling through the comm embedded in Shepard’s helmet seems shockingly loud. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Commander, are you there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” she tells her pilot, as she watches Kaidan leaning over to check Saren for life signs. Wrex waits for him to move out of the way, then plants a bullet right between the Turian Spectre’s wide open, lifeless eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s dead,” Kaidan reports, and Shepard nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Commander, we’re getting a distress call from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Destiny Ascension. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The whole Council’s aboard that ship. We could save them-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I need you and the Alliance fleet to stop Sovereign.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can hear Joker blowing out a long breath, but after a moment he simply says “Understood,” and ends the communication. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later Shepard can feel the pounding of heavy weapons as the Alliance’s gunships fire on Sovereign. It serves as enough of a distraction that she doesn’t see Saren getting back to his feet until he laughs and lets loose a bolt from his gun. It hits her shields, and in only a second she’s got her own gun in a two-handed grip and pointed directly at him. She is getting sick and fucking tired of people coming back to an imitation of life after she’s killed them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Saren that comes after her now is not a Spectre. It is a mindless thing, completely controlled by Sovereign. And when Sovereign dies, so does Saren. The Turian’s body collapses at Shepard’s feet just as Sovereign careens toward the Presidium’s floor to ceiling windows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get to cover!” Shepard yells to Kaidan and Wrex. She barely has time to crouch down and duck and cover right where she’s standing before the windows shatter spectacularly, sending jagged shards of glass pouring down like razor rain. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Savior</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CHAPTER TWELVE: SAVIOR</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard stirs when she hears heavy footsteps approaching her position. She coughs, choking on the smoke and clouds of dust created by the debris of Sovereign’s plummeting into the Presidium in its death throes. She moves her limbs slowly, carefully, making sure she is not pinned, making sure nothing is broken. She tries pushing aside some of the metal support posts that cage her, but they are far too heavy to be moved by merely human hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolls over onto her belly and half crawls, half drags her way out from underneath the wreckage. She gets to her hands and knees, and hears someone calling her name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shepard!” yells the male voice. Anderson’s voice. And then he’s there, in her field of vision, leaning down to pull her to her feet. He wraps his arm around her and leads her out of the wreckage, just like he’d done on Mindoir when she was barely more than a child. “Damn, it’s good to see you!” he exclaims.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, but her throat is dry, and her heart thumps too loudly in her chest, heavy with the weight of what she’s done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Council…” she starts, and Anderson just shakes his head solemnly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Destiny Ascension </span>
  </em>
  <span>was destroyed. All souls lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods her understanding. It shouldn’t have been her order to give, but even so, she wouldn’t change it even if she could. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> the fleets to stop Sovereign. Holding back, even one ship, might have allowed the Reaper to reach its goal and rip open a pathway to Dark Space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she doesn’t miss the hostile glares that follow her through the Presidium in the days that follow. She keeps to herself, spending most of her time in the Spectre offices, working out her stress on the firing range. Anderson comes to find her four days after what people are already calling the Battle of the Citadel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Shepard,” he beckons. “You’re needed at the embassy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowns, but hurries to follow him. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson doesn’t explain himself until they’re already in Ambassador Udina’s office. Shepard takes a seat at Udina’s urging, and Anderson leans against the wall behind her. Udina leans forward on his desk, looking Shepard in the eye. “It’s time for humanity to step up and take their place in the galaxy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard, in no mood for games, simply raises an eyebrow. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Without a Council, we can create something new. A Council made up of humans-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No,” Shepard says flatly, speaking over Udina. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Udina looks to Anderson, presumably for help. Anderson crosses his arms over his chest. “No, why?” he asks Shepard. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>why. The Citadel Council was never meant to be comprised of any one species. I agree that humans should have a seat at the table, but we are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>taking over all of Citadel space!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you have it, Donnel,” Anderson tells Udina. “The Spectre is shooting you down.”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>has to speak for human interests,” Udina grumbles.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Anderson can speak for us,” Shepard decides. “We’re going to war, we need a soldier at the helm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She expects Udina to protest, but though he’s obviously seething, he says nothing aloud.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Anderson accepts the nomination, just like Shepard knew he would, but as he walks her to her temporary quarters at the C-Sec Academy, she can tell he’s uncomfortable with the thought of speaking for all of humanity. Not because he thinks he isn’t capable, but because he’s never been comfortable with standing in the spotlight. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I trust you,” Shepard tells him, when he voices this protest. “People can trust you. That’s the point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anderson nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we going to talk?” Kaidan asks quietly, as he leans in close to Shepard in the false twilight of the Citadel’s day/night cycle. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She raises an eyebrow. “About?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ashley. Everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard sucks in a deep breath. As a rule, she doesn’t talk, not like Kaidan means. She moves on. What good does it do to dwell on the past? She can’t change it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Kaidan won’t let her get away with that. He tucks his head forward until their foreheads are touching, and he cradles her head in his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’re you holding up?” he asks her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard takes a deep breath. A lot has happened in a short space of time. They’ve been running and gunning since Virmire. Since before that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knows she ought to feel sad about Ashley Williams’s death, especially since the woman was under her command and it was Shepard’s choice that got her killed. But the truth is, when she thinks about it, she doesn’t feel anything at all. It’s the same raw, painful </span>
  <em>
    <span>lack</span>
  </em>
  <span> that she feels when she thinks about the people she lost on Akuze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head, completely unable to answer Kaidan’s question. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>holding up, because she has to, it’s what she does. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>? He wants to know how she does it? She has no idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan gathers her up in his arms, and she takes another deep breath and then pulls herself out of his grasp. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>won’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>fall apart. Not even in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan frowns at her, deep concern written all over his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can talk about Ashley if you want,” she says slowly. But the truth is, she has no idea what she’ll say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ash was a good soldier,” Kaidan says. “She had a lot of potential. She wasn’t perfect, no one is, but… she was starting to become a good friend.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shepard nods. She knows that Kaidan and Ashley had spent a fair bit of their downtime together, playing cards or just shooting the shit, out of earshot of their commander. Besides Kaidan, Shepard can’t think of anyone she talks to like that. She has grown so used to losing people, it only seems to save heartache to keep everyone at a distance to begin with. But she’d become close to Kaidan, and losing Ash was the result. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan sees the look on her face and pulls her closer, forcing her to look into his eyes. His brown eyes are soft, deep wells of concern. “Hey,” he says softly. “Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have been able to save her.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kaidan is already shaking his head. “There wasn’t enough time, Shepard, and you know it. Any longer on the planet, and we’d have all been killed. The whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard nods slowly. He’s right, and she knows it, but it doesn’t stop the guilt churning within every cell of her body. She sighs. “I’ve got something I need to do,” she says. Kaidan stares her down for several moments, but then he eventually breaks her gaze and rubs the back of his neck. He is still obviously hesitant to leave her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he says slowly. “Just… call me if you need me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will, Kaidan,” she promises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard sits in her darkened quarters with a datapad in her hand. She holds a stylus between her teeth and stares at the blank screen. A cursor blinks slowly, matching her heartbeat. Shepard has never been good at this comforting stuff, but the impersonal form letter the Alliance had sent out in the wake of Ashley’s death isn’t good enough, and she knows that. She owes Williams’s family so much more. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She scrawls the words in the darkened quiet and only then does she realize that her face is wet with tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hits send without reading over what she’s written, trusting that her honest words will be enough to convey the emotions she likes to pretend she doesn’t feel. And then she sets the datapad down and goes looking for Kaidan. She falls asleep curled up next to his strong body, with the scent of him on her skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>* * * *</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s only a few days later when Udina establishes the new, human-centric Citadel Council, with Anderson at its head. At the ceremony, Shepard and the rest of the crew of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>are presented with medals commemorating their actions at the Battle of the Citadel. Ashley receives posthumous honors, and Shepard is asked to say a few words about her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are given a couple weeks of shore leave, which Kaidan and Shepard use to explore their newly kindled relationship - now that the mission is completed and Saren is dead, they no longer have to worry about the nebulous “us” getting in the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard presses her fingers to Kaidan’s cheek and gives him a lingering kiss. He has just come out of the shower, and he still smells like the tingly antiseptic soap provided by the Alliance Navy. He wraps her up in his arms and holds her tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not that Kaidan has never been to the Citadel, but Shepard, who had spent years living there after Mindoir and before she was old enough to enlist in the military, offers to show him around, to see the sights as she knows them. They are staying in a modest apartment in a military neighborhood. Everywhere they go, people know their names. They are calling her the “savior of the Citadel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaidan watches the way she shies away from the attention, spending most of her time in the Spectre offices, accessing training courses on the consoles that glow with blue light no matter the hour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When their three weeks are up, Shepard is surprised to find that the Alliance is letting Kaidan, Joker, Pressly, and the rest of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s crew to stay with her. Even the non-human members of her crew: Liara and Tali’Zorah and Garrus, all volunteer to stay on. In the months they’ve spent together tracking down Saren, they’ve become something like a family. Shepard is glad that she won’t have to let them go. They are being sent out to the edges of the galaxy to hunt down any remaining Geth forces that might be lurking there. They are ready for the fight, but there is a relaxed kind of camaraderie among them, too. There are late nights playing Skyllian Five, and they trade the duties of ship life with ease and even laughter. Shepard relaxes. Though she still commands this crew, it feels less like a hierarchy and more like a relationship composed of equal and mutual trust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s sitting in the copilot’s chair, her feet tucked up close to her chest as she paints her toenails and smiles at something Joker just said, when she gets the tip from her contacts in the Spectre office about ships going missing in the Attican Traverse. She feeds Joker the coordinates and pulls on her boots so that she can pace the CIC, listening to reports coming in from her crew as they manipulate the scanners, looking for any sign of the lost ships. But they go days without receiving a single clue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressly is beginning to whine about turning back, annoyed that the Council has sent them on a wild goose chase. Shepard snaps at him to put a lid on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three ships went missing here in the last week,” Joker insists. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Something </span>
  </em>
  <span>happened to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My money’s on slavers,” Pressly muses. “The Terminus System’s crawling with ‘em.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard opens her mouth to respond, to tell him that even if it is slavers, </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>if it’s slavers, they can’t let that continue, when a proximity alarm starts screaming over their heads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re coming right for us!” Joker yells. “Everybody strap in. Prepare for evasive maneuvers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible,” Pressly protests. “Stealth systems are engaged. There’s no way the Geth could-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s not the Geth!” Joker cries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard stumbles and grabs hold of the edge of the war table. It probably saves her life as a plasma gun tears through the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, nearly ripping the ship in half. The alarms change pitch and grow louder as fires spring to life all along the deck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somebody get that fire out!” Shepard cries, as she runs toward the escape pods, which are mercifully still accessible and appear to be functional. “Everyone to the escape pods!” she yells. “Now!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Small groups of people rush past her, but one of the armored bodies slows and stops when it comes near her. The armor takes its helmet off, revealing Kaidan’s face, lines drawn deep with worry over his features. “Shepard…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes meet, and just for a brief second time seems frozen. Then Kaidan opens his mouth to speak. “Joker can’t-” he starts, and that’s all he needs to say before Shepard nods her understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get Joker. You get to the escape pods.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll come with you.” Kaidan reaches out to grab Shepard’s forearm, stopping her. But she just pulls out of his grip, whirling around to face him with fire in her eyes. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Go, Kaidan! That’s an order!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitates. Long seconds slowly tick by. And then he nods, and disappears into the nearest escape pod as she watches. She breathes out, a slow exhalation, and then she takes a deep breath in and begins fighting her way through a dying ship to get to her pilot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Joker!” she yells, as she approaches the cockpit. She breaks into a coughing fit as she struggles to breathe through the smoke. Only red-tinted emergency lights remain to light her way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She finds him in the pilot’s chair, his fingers still flying across the haptic interface as he struggles to outrun the pursuing attacker. “I can do it!” he insists, and Shepard isn’t sure if he’s talking to himself or to her. “I can save the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s dead,” Shepard insists, pulling on Joker’s arm. “And so are we if we don’t get out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ow, watch the arm,” Joker mutters, but he’s still straining past her, trying to get a look out the viewport. “Oh, crap,” he mumbles, barely breathing. “They’re coming around for another pass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shepard can’t waste the time it would take to get Joker to agree to come along. She slings him over her shoulder, as gently as she is able. “Ow!” he yelps once more, but at least he is no longer fighting her. They make their way down the curving set of stairs which empty out into the CIC. Bodies are strewn across the floor. One of them is Pressly. Shepard swallows hard and pushes on to the escape pods set into one wall. Only one of them is left. She presses her palm to the door and watches it swing open, a bubble of life in the darkness. All they need to do is get in. She pushes Joker into the pod, and just as she begins climbing in after him, she can feel the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy </span>
  </em>
  <span>shake and rumble beneath her as the mysterious ship begins its second attack run. Without thinking, without waiting, Shepard hits the button that will launch the escape pod. She grabs a handhold, ready to launch herself into it at the last possible second. She can hear Joker yelling her name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she hears nothing at all as she pushes herself off the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Normandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s deck and into the vacuum of space. And then she hears her suit’s warning monitors blaring, messages flashing across her HUD: her oxygen is rapidly depleting. She fumbles behind her, trying to reconnect a cord that she can’t see, with thick gloves that make her sense of touch unreliable. She imagines she can hear the hissing of escaping air. She watches Joker’s escape pod streak across her field of vision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She falls. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>